Home : Blogs : Liz Moras ~Chilliwack Realtor, Chilliwack,Hope,Langley,Abbotsford : Liz Moras' Real Estate Blog

Permission to be Real....Really!

Are you keeping it Real? Most of us are familiar with the idea of keeping it real and have an intuitive sense about what that means. Its no accident that the word Real is a part of how we define ourselves.. as Realtors and in our Real Estate transactions........don't you think? :-)........

Keeping it real is about....not hiding behind a mask to keep yourself safe from their fear of how you might be perceived. Real people don't present a false front in order to appear more perfect, more powerful, or more successful. People who keep it real present themselves as they truly are, the good parts and the parts most of us would rather hide, sharing their full selves with the people who are lucky enough to know them. The catch phrase often used these days for being "Real" is to be 'transparent'..........Are you transparent?

Isn't that what 'blogging' is all about? Not only are we trying to present our knowledge and professionalism..........which in essence has been what Websites have been all about - but Blogging takes us to a whole new platform..........For me its always been about showing the public, who we 'really' are......without the facade, the image, the flash............and giving them someone Real they can relate to and connect with!

Even companies are attempting to appeal to a new consumer sensibility -this desire for 'Authenticity'...There's a real buzz about being "Real"....Ever heard these taglines? Coca- Cola's "Real Thing,"

Bell South's "The Real Yellow Pages," and Wrangler's "Real. Comfortable. Jeans." Or CNN Headline News claims to offer "Real News. Real Fast," while Fox News counters with "Real Journalism. Fair and Balanced."

Coors touts itself as simply "Real Rocky Mountain Beer," while Milwaukee's Best bills itself as "Always Real. Always Smooth," and Bud Light weighs in with "Real Men". Or to bring it one step closer to home......"Realty One states in its advertisements, "It's The Real Thing. Real People Making Real Money at Realty One." Really?

According to Jim Gilmore and B. Joseph Pine II in their Experience Economy: Work Is Theatre & Every Business a Stage" (Harvard Business School Press) -CORRECTION & UPDATE - Joe Pine was great enough to send me an e-mail telling me I quoted the wrong book! It was their more recent book - * Authenticity: What Consumers Really Want* . Now you have two fantastic resources to check out! :-)

There used to be a time when cost was the key driver of consumer behavior and affordibility was the overriding factor....then it became more of an issue of quality good and service...Now Consumers are looking for experiences that engage them in a personal and memorable way - authentic experiences.

Being real is not always easy thing to do as we live in a culture that often shows us images of physical and material perfection. As a result, we all want to look younger, thinner, wealthier, and more successful. We are rewarded externally when we succeed at this asquerade...

But people who are Real remind us that whenever we feel that we need to be bigger, better, or more exciting, we send a message to ourselves that we are not enough. Meanwhile, people who are not trying to be something more than they are walk into a room and bring a feeling of ease, humor, and warmth with them. They acknowledge their wrinkles and laugh at their personal eccentricities without putting themselves down.

People like this inspire us to let go of our own defenses and relax for a moment in the truth of who we really are. In their presence, we feel safe enough to take off our masks and experience the freedom of not hiding behind a barrier.

Some of us may have to work a little harder to let go of our pretenses and share the beauty and humor of our Real selves. Our reward for taking such a risk is that as we do, we will attract and inspire others, giving them the permission to be real too. I'm thinking our Clients might appreciate it too?

If you or someone you know is thinking of buying or selling property in Abbotsford, Chilliwack, Langley or anywhere in the Fraser Valley Area of B.C. - or if you're considering a career in Real Estate or would like more information about Keller Williams please give Liz Moras a call! Managing Broker and Team Leader - 604-799-0459 or e-mail at lizmoras@shaw.ca.

UPDATE:

*I, too, love the blog post -- but you cited the wrong book! It is our more recent : *Authenticity Consumers Really Want* not our prior *The Experience Economy: Work Is Theatre & Every Business a Stage*....

Joe Pine

Posted by Liz Moras ~Chilliwack Realtor, Chilliwack,Hope,Langley,Abbotsford on 08/26/2008 11:49 AM

Comments (93)

Authenticity in the Thought Leader Channel

being real, real estate, permission to be real, masquerade, george benson

This post has been included in British Columbia Information
Post is included in group: Realtors®
Post is included in group: Real Estate Rookie
Post is included in group: Keller Williams Valley Realty- Abbotsford - Eh!
Post is included in group: Keller Williams 'Rainers
Post is included in group: Diary of a Realtor

93 Comments on Permission to be Real....Really!

AUG

2008

Nice post. I like to be real. It's a good thing and a bad thing though. Sometimes it shows some aspects that are best not seen. My kids sometimes tell me "Too much information."

Liz, I love it. I think that is what separates the leaders from the rest of the pack. Being real is what the public wants from us and that is how we gain their trust and respect. It is the way we should all be and conduct our business.

Tim - lol......I love that line 'too much information'.......we can be real without letting it all loose.......i'm thinking...:-)

Thanks audrey - I think if we want to differentiate ourselves there is no better branding then to be Real..:-)

You are sooooo right, keeping it real is the only way we can command respect in this ever changing real estate world we are clawing our way through. Don't get me wrong I love it, and I love the challenge and always have! We are the "real rock stars" keeping it real in the real estate biz!!!

REAL good post. :) I think most can see through a facade and you'll probably end up getting more contacts, referrals and business from those who think that you're real.

Caren - I love that -Real Estate Rock Stars!.......Like Rock Climbers.....lol

Deborah - yes i didn't miss the 'real' connection:-) I guess we have to 'sell' them on the 'truth'.......just like we do on the other things!

Rick - thank you! I agree - I think people are pretty perceptive- sometimes they can't always put their finger on what it is - but for the most part they know the -real thing - when they see it!

Liz. Great post. We all think about keeping it real, but do we? Royal..

Great post Liz, there are a few people in the business for the short hall, if you are in it for the long haul it's about the clients, not the commission. IT SHOWS!

All the best!

Kevin, it IS about the clients, not the commission, and so many realtors don't get that. It is such a simple concept, yet fundamental to one's success in this industry.

Royal - what a cool name - yes you're right we have to constantly go back and give ourselves a 'reality check'...:-)

Kevin - an old manager of mine once said to us ..."make sure its not dollar signs they see in your eyes when they look at you! ":-)

This is a great post Liz. I think being real is part of the total package. If a buyer thinks you are "putting them on" you don't have much of a business. The more of your personality you can give to your client the more they trust you.

Liz,I have always lived by the "what you see is what you get". That was a heritage that I feel was passed on to me by my parents and it has been my goad to pass it on to my children. As young adults they seem to be real people so I'm excited to say so far so good.

Great post. I think a bit of transparency on our part does wonders for our clients. It lets them know your being upfront and honest about things. Keeping it real is important.

Good Post! Being REAL will help you to be successful.

AUG

2008

Thanks Leslie - you're right the public is pretty savy and they're looking for a connection with someone they respect and who's 'real' with them!

Marchel - 'what you see is what you get'.......nice to be abe to feel that THAT is Good Enough, and the Best way of being Real!

Jan -I so agree - I do believe that they want to feel that they can 'relate' to you - that you are a team........and working together on making their 'real' estate

The one thing that is too real are the zillions of reality shows, otherwise, I enjoy people keeping it real.

....so there!

Hi Liz, I love your thoughts in this area. We have to be comfortable in our own skin. Congratulations on a well deserved Featured post.

Michael - thats so funny - and the reality shows about real estate.......? You right there is such a thing as too real.........which would make it.......unreal? :-) Thanks for the e-mail and for adding me as an associate, and i do look forward to working with you in the future~

Ahhhh Rich.........:-) You slipped in there like a "stealth"........you didn't read my comment on Robert's post did you?..Well thank you for the visit, comment and gold star! Its true...I am honoured...:-)

It's quite easy for me to keep it real in life... the only difficulty I have is keeping it real with real estate (and it's half the name!) The reason for this? I'm a numbers guy. Sometimes the numbers look good... sometimes they look bad... often enough they carry too great a weight in the equation. I live in an area where people have come to look at their residence as an investment. I even specialize in helping them do that. However... too many lose sight of the intangibles that make a residence a home. These intangibles can't easily be tapped into a calculator (if at all). I believe in disclosing everything... both good and bad. This can cost me business but it also brings peace of mind. Excellent topic Liz... a star well earned!

Chuck - you're one of the 'real'est....most genuine people I read.........and I can see the dilemna with helping people 'real'ize their investment goals........Investors buy with a different set of parameters and their goals can be different.........and you do help them do that in a 'real' way......Being honest, upfront and disclosing all is how a 'Real" Realtor characterizes the Best in Real Estate.........and as a result earns a good nights sleep!

Gary - Thank you.......its a good thing to give both ourselves and our clients a 'reality check' every now and then....thanks for the comments Again! :-)

Liz, What an absolutely terrific post, I enjoyed reading every word! Keeping it REAL is very important to me, it's who and what I am (and pretending to be anything else just takes up energy). And I know it is very important to my clients because they have told me so. It's often something in an article or post that draws them to me for a wonderful working relationship.

Carole - thank you! I know that about you - see how transparent you are! :-)

Liz,

Keeping it real helps a client know that you will give them credible information instead of a silly tale designed to close the deal. Your blog post really explains this in good detail. I'ts nice to know some people are staying to their roots in this competitive market. Great post, easy to see why this was featured! btw: nice google juice :)

We're hearing so much about the candidates being able to portray to us as "real." It's our job too. I would just hope it would come naturally.

Liz~ I don't know how to be anything but true to myself. What you see with me is what you get! A customer can read between the lines and sense a fake in a jiffy. I know I can. One of my pet peeves is a "fake"person. Too me that is a turn off, period.

Liz -

Things must be changing around AR. I have a featured post about being unpopular for having different opinions, someone else is featured to for saying she too felt unpopular, and you are featured telling us to keep it "real". Maybe AR's looking for a new direction than the same old stuff?

Michelle

This is a terrific post. As I read it, I had to remind myself that I am not totally real.

I dont't talk politics with clients. I don't share a lot about my personal life with anyone who isn't a best friend.

And, I have gone through Brad Blanton's Radical Honesty 6-Day Seminar at least 3 times.

Hmmmm.

Amen! Beautifuyl post!!!

Great blog and ideas! Yes, we need to tell our clients what is real, not what they want to hear...about ourselves and about this crazy real estate market! Part of establishing a relationship with buyers and sellers is letting them see some of the "real" aspects of our personality and character, so that they appreciate the ethics, professionalism, empathy and interest in helping them. I appreciate your thoughts. Terri White, Broker/Owner Las Vegas Properties

Liz, I like your second to last paragraph - real people inspire us to be ourselves. This was a fun post to read with all the different example of "real" in advertising. Great job and congrats on the well deserved feature.

That was a "real" good post. Being real can be a big risk - but when we are real we can set realistic boundaries and find peace in our lives. When we can say "I am I" then we will find freedom, free from the conditioning of this world. I wish you well in your role as a Realtor as "you are you." Thanks for your inspiration.

As we say Real Estate for the Real World.

Hi Liz... Great post. I think real is the only way to go in business and in life.

"The catch phrase often used these days for being "Real" is to be 'transparent'..........Are you transparent? Isn't that what 'blogging' is all about?"

In a perfect world this would be true. Unfortunately people who put on that front in the "real world" would probably do so here too.

In one of my previous careers my employer had all of it's corporate employees take an "Understanding Character" course. It was meant for managers to learn skills that helped to identify who was being "real" and who was putting on a front, so you knew which management style was needed for the different employees.

It's the people who are putting on fronts that expend a considerable amount of emotional energy trying to make people believe this is who they are. These are also the people who tend to explode when under a great deal of stress.

All the managers and corporate buyers/specialists were required to take the test too. Mine came out, as I knew it would, "what you see is what you get". What I found interesting though, is that many people were not even aware they were putting on a front and there were several people I worked closely with that struugled with the idea that they weren't the person they wanted people to believe they were.

Anyway, sorry if this is more information than you wanted or goes off topic a bit. Your post just triggered memories for me.

Real. Local. And Lord knows that I am really me. Oddly, people make a lot of assumptions, but then they see that I didn't lead them there...

The bottom line is that I am a short, fat, opinionated car guy. I disagree with almost everyone about something, and value every single one of them.

You should have used this video...

Thanks for the post. I agree with you a lot of people should "keep it real".

Castellum : Wish I could call you by name! thanks so much for your comments........I like the 'silly tale vs credibility'..........line........:-) do you get google juice on members only posts? hmmm

Diane - sometimes one has to work at dropping the guard - for a variety of reasons - not always because one doesn't want to be real - sometimes for some people its just hard to let people see all your foibles...:-) Thanks for commenting!

Vickie - I'm not even sure if its always fake - sometimes its trying hard to be what that they people want to be want they think, people want them to be! Does that make sense - sometimes its self-esteem, self-worth.......just learning to feel comfortable in your own skin!

Terry - (you need to add your name to your company name/tag line) I had to check your blog to get your name..:-) congratulations on your feature too! It seems like there are different themes at different times.........not surprising that some of us are on the same wavelength at the same time!

Very thought provoking post, Liz! You made a lot of impact with "whenever we feel that we need to be bigger, better, or more exciting, we send a message to ourselves that we are not enough."

Pat - One of the things I really appreciate about you is how you constantly go back and re evaluate - you do do a reality check! We all need to as far as I'm concerned........different people maybe with different frequency.....but i'm betting none of us are always 100% 'real'........all the time.........I know I'm not.......but I am a 'real' work in progress! :-) Politics like religion are often sensitive subjects.........but good relationships allow for differences of opinion! You might be missing some really juicy conversations! :-)

Why thank you Leon - appreciate the comment!

Terri - Great comments Terri - you're right it is a crazy market.......and we don't need to pretend its not, we can be real and related and help them through it!

thank you Sondra for your comments - I really appreciate them....:-) being inspired to be real......who doesn't appreciate the people that lead us in that direction?

Thank you Warren - you're right there is a risk.........and sometimes it can hit us right back square in the face...........but the price we pay when we don't can knock us right out of the ring! Appreciate you insight!

Brenda - Now if that isn't a Branding what is? :-) "Real Estate for the Real World".......

Steve - hey thanks for popping by - yes ....real is definitely the way to go!

Kathy - thats a great share - and I'm glad you took the time to share it with us - I think you're right.........there are times that the line between who we are and who we want to be is a bit smudged....

Lane -you're absolutely right - we often make assumptions that aren't always based on fact..! would have loved to view your video but it said it was no longer available!

Liz:

Thanks for the nice blog article about BEING REAL in business and life and showing the authenticity of ourselves to our friends and clients.

Harrison K. Long, Explore Group, Irvine, CA

Freddy - i'm thinking we just remember to pinch ourselves every now and then! :-)

Liz, this is a REALly great blog/message ... and because of our most recent phone call, I'll stop here. I keep getting myself into trouble, because I'm so 'real/blunt' all the time.

However, I would like to add that you are a REAL friend, and I'm REALly, really glad that I 'met' you. I definitely think I made a real good friend for life, and we can definitely be real with each other. I think we all need a friend like you - who we can be real with and not worry about how honest/blunt we are with each other. We know it's because the other cares.

And I'm sorry, I still can't write. :(

John - I won't pretend that there aren't times when I play the 'i'm not enough' song to myself - but then I just have to remember the chorus..........:-)

Harrison - friends, family AND clients........sometimes we do it with one or two but not all three! :-)

Sylvie - you don't get into trouble for being real/blunt..........but for not sharing all your great insights, opinions and ideas in your OWN blogs - and not just your comments.........I'd like to frame some of your comments! POST girl POST! :-)

I so value your friendship - and its one of the most special gifts A/R has given me.........and you an write, you can write You Can Write....YOU CAN WRITE~ Now go write girl~

AUG

2008

Thank you Liz. That was such a reminder of what its really all about! If you ever make it to Maui (and many from B.C. do!) look me up.

Aloha, Scott Innes

Island Sotheby's International Realty

Wailea, Maui, Hawaii

www.MauiRealEstateAdvisor.com

great post! one of these days, I;m going to write as well as you do!

Scott how nice a comment! - And I just might take you up on that visit - i love love love Hawaii - i was in oahu for my 50th with my family last November, and years ago I visited Maui and thought it was gorgeous! So one day! :-)

Awhh John what a nice thing to say! Now I'm going to go read your blog! :-)

Liz - What a great post, were you talking about how real I am? Just kidding! There is so much to this post that is so (Real). I am glad I was to come across it finally. I haven't been able to log-in to AR, I think they are trying to tell me something.

Thanks!

Hey Robert - yes its been frustrating - the active rain error message has been coming up all night, at least with 3 out of 4 attempts at commenting..........glad you finally made it through though! Thanks for the comments.........i really appreciate them!

Duuudette, most excellent post! Seriously, LIz: Beautifully written, truly enlightening, completely on target, with perfect examples to nail your eye-opening points. As a former writer/editor for a national magazine, I tip my hat, and look forwward to more from you. As a newly minted blog reader/hesitant blog writer trying to wrap my mind around the concept, your example has sparked a fire. Thanks!

It took a giant step to present to the world the truth about who we ought to be. Thanks for being very real in my life and for acknowledging what it will take to turn this market around. Being real, telling the real truth, sharing our hurts as well as our good times, and listening to the real dreams of our clients so we can assist them in finding exactly what the truth is for their well being.

Great post. Thank you.

Great post, people make it hard to be 'real' in real estate. Do they want to hear the truth?

Liz...you hit it right on the head! And while we are keeping it real, it means being who we are, and not what someone things we should be! That's what makes you a unique person, and why people will be drawn to working with you.

Hi Liz,

Great post! It brings to mind two things. 1. I happen to assist a real estate agent who actually uses "keeping the real in real estate" as their slogan and 2. your post reminds me of a book that I read a few months ago, "Kitchen Table Wisdom" in which the author, Rachel Naomi Remen says " It's not an either/or world. It is a real world." Being real is NOT easy but what I have been taught and strangely enough by my 10 year old daughter is that the things that I used to consider being my failures and mistakes have actually turned out to be my strengths and what it comes down to for me is that I like being me and I like being real with the people in my life and the ones I have yet to meet. Thanks again for the great post!

Your post is right on. I have not been a sales agent for very long but I have been in the business for 20 years, designing, remodeling, building and selling so I have encountered ALL kinds of agents. And I ABSOLUTELY HATE being "sold" by people who I know are trying to hard to make me believe they are so much more than everyone else. I am lucky to have mentoring by a lady who has integrity. I'd rather do business any day with someone who says, "hey, this is who I am and this is what I have experience with," than with the hotshot who thinks they know it all.

Liz, Thanks for bringing up this hot topic. The world is fascinated with reality TV shows, showing us all that we are human. I'm all for keepin' it real, but sometimes in a professional setting, I would prefer not knowing someone is having 'cramps,' that they were up all night yakking so they couldn't get to my project, etc. I DO appreciate people who admit when they don't know something and will get back to me with an answer. "Welcome to my 'You do NOT want to know what I was doing last night' World!"

Yes, I agree nice post. I also try to always let my clients see me for me. What my ethics are, my honesty and loyalty. They really do appreciate it, and your client is hiring your for what you tell then you are going to do for them. I try to create a bond between my clients by being honest and hard working for them. Isnt that the point??? You want their future business and their referrals too!

Steve: "Duuudette" love it...lol.......thanks for your comments - I really appreciate them Steve - and I can see the writer's blood in you just by your comments.......what magazine did you write/edit for? And pray tell why would YOU be a hesitant blogger? I'm going to subscribe to you so we can stay in touch - glad I could light a wee fire for you! :-)

Wayne - a very touching/moving comment..........thank you......your link is broken on the comment.....but hope you're doing a wee bit better? Thanks again!

LYn - I'm thinking some do and some don't.........nevertheless its probably our responsibility to be 'real' and tell the 'real truth'....whether they want to hear it or not.....:-)

Thom and Ray - yep its hard not to sometimes be tempted to be what we think people want us to be - ultimately we have an obligation to be true to ourselves..........i'm thinking.:-) Thanks, for the comments.

Anne-Marie - thats a great 'share'........I've seen the keeping the 'real in real estate' tagline before and its a good one - the book of kitchen wisdom sounds cool.........and kids aren't they the perfect mirror...........? Its so true that what we think are our weaknesses often turn out to be our strengths, and vice versa!

Cecilia - a lot of people have self-esteem and worth issues........so their insecurities seep through when they feel they 'need to know it all'.........we're all struggling one way or another........but focusing on what you do know and admitting what you don't is always a good place to start!

Diana - lol - yes its like Tim said earlier - sometimes its just TMI! Too Much Information! :-)

Janice - Absolutely........'trust' is what builds that bond........and how do you build that trust, by saying what you need to say ..........and doing what you said you were going to do - ..........and finding out what you don't know! :-)

Great post Liz. As Realtors providing our services to our clients, we can only truly be professionals when we are "real" and treat our clients with respect and honesty.

Liz - I sometimes feel like I have been TOO "real" with my blogging, but it seems to be working well for me so far, so I will likely continue sharing as much of the real me as people can tolerate.

Thanks James - you hit the nail on the head - thank you!

Jason - obviously what you're doing works - you have a large and loyal following - so I'm thinking you should keep on keeping on - like you said! :-)

AUG

2008

I really did love the post, Liz. It's always struck me (as you may have gathered from Chapter 3) how the "Real" in "Real Estate" really should force realtors (there it is again!) to think hard about authenticity and how they render it in their business.

For those who wish to, you've given them a great start!