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Great News....now I am worried.

By
Real Estate Agent with Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 225179

I wanted to share with you some great news that I received this past weekend, yet that this news has me worried.  It is funny how I can feel this way, and those around me that know me and what I am about to share with you, understand why....those who just hear the news do not comprehend my lack of excitement.

Our middle Son informed me that he and his girlfriend (my first issue with the whole thing) are expecting a baby.  She is 10 weeks along and all seems fine (thank you Lord).  They have known one another for about a year.  They have been dating about 6 months.  They moved in together in September and now the announcement of the pending birth.

My Son has been for all general purpose a good kid (he is 22 now).  He and I have a good but distant relationship.  He chooses to, and is not that often, communicate to me about his life privately and not my wife and her family who have treated him as a "full member" of their family for over 15 years now.  That has been the biggest strain on our relationship since he has been 14 years old.  This is where the my concern comes into play.  I know that I and my wife have made it very easy for him to communicate with us.....have gone out of our way to make time to see him on his terms.....we have left the door open to him to come to everything we have with our family and friends.....and updated him on all that is going on here so that he always feel's apart of us.

He has wanted to be a parent since he was 18 and felt that he would always be there for his child.  This isn't where I start to defend myself and my actions, I will just leave it that we missed very little that he had going on, but this is the root of his distance with us.

I know that he will work hard to provide for his family.  I asked and was told that they "intend" to get married.  They both smoke which I pray that they stop today.  I know that he wants a lot for his family, however I know that he will continue to be distant from what would be a great family dynamic with my wife's family and our close circle of friends.

I ask your thought's and prayer's for him, his girlfriend and their child to be.....that they find the courage to give themselves to the Lord....He who will provide for them all that they need.  I know the life plan that I and my wife have journeyed is not the storybook that makes fairytails popular.  WE have together placed our lives int he Lord's hands and make sure that all our children know that if they do they too will take the "BIGGEST" step to a life full of love, compassion and forgiveness.

Sally Zatkoff
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services PenFed Realty - Fairfax, VA
Making a Difference
AMEN Dan.. It is a journey and all the things that may have kept him from having a close relationship with you may be things that he will face in his own future with his new child. Maybe then he will have a better understanding and you will grow closer. Sounds like he has many gifts to be thankful for. God Bless. Will keep you all in our prayers.
Dec 02, 2007 04:10 AM
Sally Zatkoff
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services PenFed Realty - Fairfax, VA
Making a Difference
AMEN Dan.. It is a journey and all the things that may have kept him from having a close relationship with you may be things that he will face in his own future with his new child. Maybe then he will have a better understanding and you will grow closer. Sounds like he has many gifts to be thankful for. God Bless. Will keep you all in our prayers.
Dec 02, 2007 04:10 AM
Deb Brooks
Brooks Prime Properties Wichita Falls Texas - Wichita Falls, TX
Hey Dan, It sounds to me that you have a wonderful son. I think you should be proud that he is independent and strong. He is planning to marry which is the honorable thing and possibly that could be a place for you to start with him. Maybe offer to help with the wedding? This shows you accept the fact that baby is coming and it will give you a major chance to bond and get him more involved with your Christian beliefs. Good luck and my God Bless! Congratulations Papaw! Deb
Dec 02, 2007 07:20 AM
Sal Poliandro - Helping People Win
RE/MAX Properties - Ridgewood, NJ
Broker Associate
Dan - Congratulations and I'm sure that you have set a great example for your son and there is no need to worry.  He will follow in your footsteps.  Best of luck!
Dec 05, 2007 10:47 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

RE/MAX Kai Lani,

Keeping the eye on the child....will hopefully keep all parties on the ball.

The Lord provides for all....my prayer is that they ask....He listens.

Dec 06, 2007 12:27 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Rita,

Doubt is the beginning of belief....as far as I am concerned.  I will pray for your daughter's successful journey to the wonders of the Lord.

Dec 06, 2007 12:28 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Sondra,

The Lord only gives us as much as we can handle.....He is there for us always!

Dec 06, 2007 12:30 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Sally,

Thank you for your prayers and kind words.  I have tried to make it clear to him that I have made mistakes....attempting to stay close to him is NOT one of them.....I hope he sees that soon.

Dec 06, 2007 12:31 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Debra,

On the surface he seems to have the right answers....and working to making a good life with his girlfriend and child to come.

I pray that he finds the direction I did....and I was much older.

Dec 06, 2007 12:33 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Sal,

Everyday it is our duty as parents to lay the foundation for our children.  Thank you for your support.

Dec 06, 2007 12:34 AM
Jeff&Grace Safrin
F.C.Tucker 1st Team Real Estate - Valparaiso, IN
SpousesSellingHousesTM

Hello Dan, I will keep your entire family in my prayers! I can only share this with you for I have not crossed this path....A lady in my bible study had a similar situation - she shifted the focus of visits and conversation and prayer and planning to the unborn child of God who was coming.. always including the parents (nonjudgmental) ( this time of year advent is an excellent parallel with many lessons as we await our saviors birth) they ended up going to parenting classes together, getting note-cards from the pastor, books on bringing up a child in Christ and other "little" things that eventually when added up had impact. ( they have long since married and have even had another child :)

Blessings to Your & Yours

Grace Safrin

Dec 06, 2007 11:22 AM
Timothy Schwartz
Century 21 Mack Morris Iris Lurie - Marlboro Twp, NJ
Dan, thanks for commenting on my blog today.  You and your wife are doing the right thing by setting a Christian example, keep the faith brother.  Keep us posted, your children will be in my prayers.
Dec 07, 2007 11:21 AM
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi Dan, God has many ways to love him and many paths he offers so people can follow him.  They may not be in our time or in our plan.  We will keep your son and soon to be daughter-in-law and grand baby in our thoughts and prayers.
Dec 12, 2007 11:01 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Grace,

First I love the Spouses Selling Houses.....I have alwyas wanted my wife to join me in the Industry.

I hope and pray for them all, yet the child will need all the positive thoughts and prayers it can get.

 

Dec 18, 2007 11:12 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Tim,

Thanks for you thoughts and prayers.....we have always made ourselves available for our son, we pray for the moment he comes to us again.

Dec 18, 2007 11:14 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Gary,

Your kind words and prayers will help....I hope to write soon about a better relationship...

Dec 18, 2007 11:16 AM
Jan Evett
The Premier Property Group LLC - Rosemary Beach, FL
Broker Associate, 20 years+ in real estate

Hi, Dan,

I'm reading through your posts to get to know your family.  Nice to read about both your sons ... and I just want to say that I think new life is never a bad thing.  It is a great choice that this young couple has made to have this baby.  (Sorry if I am giving too much of my personal pro-life opinion here.)  I know in time your son will come to be the man that you pray for him to be. 

I have 3 adult "kids" and they are all different... cannot compare their lives ... each is special in his/her own way.  Claim God's promises to keep them in the faith and in time He will show them (and all of us) His way!  Sounds like you have a great life and some wonderful times ahead of you!  Be blessed!

Dec 26, 2007 06:54 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Jan,

Thank you again for your words of kindness and encouragement.....I would not change a day, good and bad, as I have a great life.

Jan 03, 2008 02:20 AM
Robert L. Brown
www.mrbrownsellsgr.com - Grand Rapids, MI
Grand Rapids Real Estate Bellabay Realty, West Mic
I do know how you feel. i was estranged from my youngest 2 daughters and thru prayer we're back on track. yes i don't see them all the time but they are in my life. You need to pray(i'm not saying you're not doing that). I asked God to keep them safe. And he heard me and answered my prayer.
Jan 03, 2008 04:36 AM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Robert,

I believe that the Lord will work to deliver a relationship that He sees fit.

Nov 17, 2008 11:51 PM