The Wrong Way to Network

Do you network?Wayne makes it a part of his routine to attend various Chambers of Commerce meetings, independent networking meetings and real estate investor networking events. He also belongs to a BNI Chapter.  

The main idea of all this networking is to make myself known to the people I meet so that they know what I do.  But that's not enough, I also make a point to get their business card and try to arrange a coffee or lunch meeting with them.  The purpose of those meetings is not to tell them about me or my business - it's about them and their business.  I want to find out what they do, how they help their clients, what service they provide.  In the back of my mind I'm thinking I may know a client or colleague (or possibly even myself) that could benefit from their product or service.  I do this by asking questions about how what they do impacts the local community, how they service their clients, how long they've been in the business.   I'll also make it a point to find out about their family and hobbies to keep it on a personal level as well.   I even take notes.

I was really disappointed by a meeting that I attended this morning.  For several days a nice man I met at a networking luncheon had been calling me to schedule a meeting.  I told him I could spare 30 minutes this morning at 11am.  He said fine, and we arranged to meet.  

At 11am sharp I arrived and he, we'll call him Tony, proceeded to setup his laptop and showed me a video presentation that was a sales pitch for a pyramid type of business.  On the surface I sat there and smiled but inside I was seething.   How dare he waste my time and energy to try to sell me something?

I was polite.   I let the presentation finish and then with a smile Tony said, "So, what do you think?  Do you want in?"  I took a deep breath, looked him directly in the eyes and said: "Tony, I think that you're a nice guy, and I agreed to meet with you because I believe you're a good person.  But do you really attend these networking events to sell to the people you meet there?"   He looked  at me, not knowing what to say.

I let him know that if he really wants to be a successful networker he needs to think about what he's doing.  When you're at a networking event, you have to realize that each person there personally know's at least a few hundred people.  Wouldn't it be better to build a solid relationship with that one person, over time.  And then without even trying, that person will end up referring business to you from their sphere of influence because of the relationship that they have with you.  

Tony said "I only do this part time as a way to enhance my income."  He was really flustered.  

I stood up, shook his hand and told him to think deeply about what I said.  I reiterated that I believe he's a nice person and I hope that he's successful in what he does, but I stressed that he spends his time building the relationships, not the business. 

So the moral, if there is one, is that a strong relationship built through networking can lead to multiple referrals, maybe even dozens or more.  That's way better than a single sale.  So don't make it about you, unless they ask about you.

Happy networking!