OWNING YOUR OWN HOME—NOT WHAT YOU THINK
In 1983, I was a fledgling mortgage loan officer in Franklin, Kentucky, working with a newly licensed realty agent. We had a young couple that was looking for their first home. I was also doing business with two reputable home builders, and new homes started out around $69,900. I had prequalified them for about $75,000, so Mary Ann and the bride were like two little girls in a dress shop.
Mary Ann called me one night, and said “Fred, you have got to talk Steve into buying this house—the wife loves it. Now, I didn’t lose my hair from trying to talk people into things when they we capable of making their own decisions. I had a limited acquaintance with Steve, and knew he did not need, nor would he welcome my telling him what to do. Ladies: that is what God put you on this earth to do—tell a man what to do. I expressed that sentiment to Mary Ann and his wife; but I agreed to call him; and before I could say hello, Steve was informing me that I was not going to talk him into buying that house! He meant it, and I believed him.
What he said next, is the wisest thing I ever heard a 24 year old man say: “I want to own my own home; but I do not want it to own me.”
I have quoted Steve Turner more than anyone I know, except Jesus and my dad. I wish I could get more young people to think about what he said. If I could, they would live more restful, secure, and happy lives. Now, I have not forgotten that my chosen field of endeavor is real estate sales. I am a REALTOR® by choice, and I find great delight in helping people attain their dreams.
OWNING YOUR OWN HOME is not the hard part—but it is not what you think. There are mistakes made that can control your destiny. Remember the old saying, “Be careful what you ask for—you may get it.”
Little girls want “babies” and later learn “it’s not what you think.” Young men want to grow up and be out on their own, and learn it’s not what you think.” We have all had second thought, wished we had known, and regretted not listening to someone who had traveled the road before us. Well, I have been a frequent traveler of the road you are on. It is not a bad road, but it does have curves and ditches along the way. Let’s mention a few:
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Taking on un-necessary debt for things we truly do not need.
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Not saving money every month—no excuses.
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Not having a written budget—put pencil to paper.
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Having separate bank accounts rather than managing money jointly.
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Wasting nickels and dimes—thus losing dollars and more dollars.
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Being selfish in the marriage (or in not being married): commitment?
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Not planning a future together, but buying a house together???
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Buying more house than is necessary.
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Buying amenities rather than space and value.
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Not being on the same page about where you want to live, and what is of joint importance. Selfishness should not have your address.
Some may think I am meddling, but I am not. My children will tell you that I say what I think needs to be said, but then keep my nose out of their business.
One last suggestion: Consider buying a less expensive home and finance it with a fifteen year mortgage. You can do it by resisting the temptation to buy other less important items such as fancy car wheels, more shoes & clothes than you think you need. Practice leaving checks and bank card at home, and see how much wealth you gain by applying scissors to credit cards.
You may ask what makes me an expert on these matters. Wisdom is the child of Mistakes and Experience. I have made many mistakes, and gained much experience. One other thing—I care about your success and happiness. That comes at no charge. You have nothing to lose in considering the truth of Steve Turner's statement, and that is my wish for you.
I want to own my own home; but I do not want it to own me.” PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT.
--Fred
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