My Hidden Gem, Respect Others Enough To Let Them Make their own Decision

 I gave gave Bob's challenge a lot of thought, maybe more so than other challenges in the past.  The reason for giving this challenge as much thought as I have is because I feel the "Hidden Gem" needs to be a true gem.  Something which makes a long and lasting impact, a gem which leads to a long and lasting relationship with a Borrower.

While finding more space in a house than originally thought, or getting a great deal on a property which ends up appraising for several thousand dollars more than the purchase price are excellent gems, these are things which happen fairly often.  For me a "Hidden Gem" has a life long impact on our lives, our clients lives and/or our career.  I have been fortunate enough to have had such a "Hidden Gem" in my life and career.  This "Hidden Gem" has not only had a lasting impact on my life and career, but has also been a major reason why my past Borrowers come back to me when they to purchase or refinance in the future.  This is"Hidden Gem" I was given early in my sales career, and which I have past on to my Borrowers is what I will share in this month's "Crowdsourcing Hidden Gems"

One of the great faults many people in sales have is thinking they know better than their clients.  They feel their knowledge of the product they are selling somehow entitles them to the freedom of making decisions for those who are spending the money.   Having this attitude leads the sales people thinking they have the right to decide what their clients should or should not purchase.  After all they are the experts on the product and they know best.  This sense of entitlement and attitude ends up restricting our ability truly provide our clients with the service and representation they deserve.  OK enough of that, so what is my "Hidden Gem"

I started in sales 39 years ago, selling Life Insurance in a small territory where I went every week into the homes of those who had insurance policy's with me, to collected the premium on their policies. Some of you might remember the old weekly nickel policy's, well I was one of those insurance agents.  As a result of being in these homes at least once a month, I started to form opinions of what my clients could or could not afford based on the life style I saw them living.  Most of my policyholders lived a very modest life style and APPEARED to not have much money.  So I would hesitate asking them to purchase additional life insurance even though I knew full well what they had would never be sufficient to take care of the expenses the family would incur if when they past away.  This is when I received my life long "Hidden Gem" which has a life long impact on my life and career, and in turn the life of my clients.

I will never forget telling my Sales Manager that my clients just could not afford any more insurance, and that I had to find others who could.  His response to me was one that has stuck with me for some 39 years.  He looked me straight in the eye and said "you need to have enough respect for people to let them decide what they can or can not afford, and give them the opportunity to make their own decision".  I have never forgotten that, and to this they I follow that advice.

As it turned out many of those who I thought could not afford to purchase any more life insurance turned out to have a lot more money then I ever thought they had.  The reason why they lived so modestly was because they were saving up every penny they could to purchase their first house.  That was their dream, and they were willing to make whatever sacrifice they had to purchase it.  But just because they chose to do without did not mean they were not willing to make sure their families were provided for should something happen to them.

I feel a lot of times we do the same thing in Real Estate and Lending.  We look at someone and automatically decide what they can or cannot afford, and what they should purchase.  We judge the book by its cover.  Now don't get me wrong, as a Loan Officer I am privileged to more financial information than I was as an Insurance Agent, but that still does not give me the right to make decisions for someone else, especially if all the data says they can purchase.  My job as a Loan Officer is to give my Borrowers ALL the information they need to make their own decision. 

Realtors are even more guilty of this then Loan Officers, because they are in many cases making decisions for their Buyers without any of their financial data, and decide ahead of time what they should or should not purchase.  Does this mean we just let people get in over their heads and drown, while we turn our heads the other way.  No not at all.  But what it does mean is we give them all the necessary information so they can come to their own decision on whether or not they should purchase. 

There is nothing wrong with giving our clients our opinion, but in the end we need to let them make the decision.  There you have it My Hidden Gem, Respect Others Enough To Let Them Make their own Decision.