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Should Husbands Buy Houses Without Spouses?

By
Real Estate Agent with DFW FINE PROPERTIES 0506509

 

In my career, I have worked with many men who transferred to Texas for work and had a wife and kids with a home back home in some other state. The longer they are here, the harder it is to be without the family and it's harder to commute. Yet, in order to provide for the family, many men have to take a risk and accept a better job, especially for economic reasons when they can't get work from home.

 

In the last several years, I've represented buyers (men) who were determined to buy a house in Texas and so they started the process. While the stories are all somewhat similar, the results are the same.

 

Mr. B (Buyer) find a house. He loves it. He calls Mrs. B (wife) and the two of them talk. She wants to see it, but can't. So she looks at pictures. She starts searching the MLS, INTERNET, Agent websites, Realtor.com, etc. Before you know it, I'm showing Mr. B homes in cities and places he never thought of because she's shopping for houses without even leaving her home! 

 

Finally, the two of them decide on a home. He's at the house in person with me. She's on the phone. They are doing face-to-face and make the decision, they have to have this house! But the problem is, by the time she flys in or makes the long commute by car, the house is already under contract. 

 

They try again, and again, and again... Finally, she tell him, go ahead make an offer - I trust you! You know what I like! I'll come down for the inspection. The problem is, on average, 10 out of 10 times there's something about the house she doesn't like. It could be anything or nothing.... She just doesn't like it.

 

Should husbands buy houses without spouses? In my professional opinion, it doesn't matter how well you know your better half or how sophisticated technology is. Skype doesn't matter. Nor does the most expensive video camera. When it comes to buying a house, spouses need to experience it together before the right decision is made for the two of them and their family. There's a lot of decision making to be made and we are not (not even spouses) created equal. 

 

©Patricia Feager 8/12/2015

Posted by

Texas Law requires all license holders to provide the Information about Brokerage Services form to prospective clients.

https://www.trec.texas.gov/sites/default/files/pdf-forms/CN%201-4-1.pdf

dfw fine properties

PATRICIA FEAGER, REALTOR®
DFW FINE PROPERTIES
3575 LONE STAR CIRCLE SUITE 315
FORT WORTH, TEXAS 76177

Email Me
                                  

                                     

MBA (University of Dallas)
BA
(Bachelors of Arts & Science)
Paralegal (Southeastern Career Institute)
Associates (3) (College of Lake County)
KU (University of Kansas)

CERTIFICATIONS

CRS (Certified Residential Specialist)
SRES (Certified Senior Residential Specialist)
PSA (Certified Pricing Strategies; Mastering the CMA)
CRS (Certified Military Relocation Specialist)
RENE (Real Estte Negotitions Expert)

"With self-discipline most anything is possible." --- Theodore Roosevelt 

 

 

 

  

Comments(27)

Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Bob Crane - I have investors do what you described all the time. I've never worked with an investor who has to make a joint decision. I'm talking about the residence they will both live in together.

Aug 12, 2015 12:08 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Michael Thornton - Yes what you describe has been my experience too, except if it's cultural - then he chooses and she obeys.

Aug 12, 2015 12:09 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

It seems to be traditional and universal - woman chooses; man pays, doesn't it Wayne Martin unless it's cultural. 

Aug 12, 2015 12:10 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Jenna Dixon it can get complicated! When an investment in residential property is this big, why would anyone into today's society settle (if you're a true partnership) for whatever one party decides? A picture is one dimension and though measurements are easy to take, I look at it this way, not everyone can pass an assembler's test or even take an IQ test and figure out what those shapes and drawings will be on paper until you get to see it.

Aug 12, 2015 12:17 AM
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Platinum - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

I have had this happen before ....to each their own I guess, but I would want to be on title!

Aug 12, 2015 01:05 AM
Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy

Patricia,

I understand what you mean,   I just asked Ron if he would trust me to buy a house sight unseen, and he said yes, "I would know that you bought the perfect house".  I feel the same way about him doing that.  We both agree that it would be more fun to be together doing that..."  Nice post.  A

Aug 12, 2015 01:41 AM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Patricia, my answer to whether a husband should buy a house without his wife, is only if he has s death wish, or looking for a divorce :)

Aug 12, 2015 09:46 AM
Evelyn Johnston
Friends & Neighbors Real Estate - Elkhart, IN
The People You Know, Like and Trust!

Women choose the homes, the men buy them.   I agree, they need to see it together.

Aug 12, 2015 10:46 AM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

Patricia, I totally understand....on the other hand I had an Australian husband fly into Los Angeles we drove all over Malibu and ended up  ten miles from Malibu and the wife was on the phone....I got on the phone too... then the listing agent got on the phone too...and ultimately we had a happy ending...Endre

Aug 12, 2015 04:10 PM
Endre Barath, Jr.
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Beverly Hills, CA
Realtor - Los Angeles Home Sales 310.486.1002

p.s.: clearly this was an exception.... I so agree with you, when we bought our house I was just the Realtor and Diane was the buyer....:))Endre

Aug 12, 2015 04:19 PM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Patricia - I would agree that this is so emotional.  If only they could set a date to meet and have a Realtor appointment together.

Aug 12, 2015 11:01 PM
Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Cell: 631-805-4400
The Top Team @ Charles Rutenberg Realty 255 Executive Dr, Plainview NY 11803 - Plainview, NY
Long Island Condo and Home Specialists

Been there - seen this so many times. Something is not going to be right until they look at it together!

Aug 13, 2015 01:57 AM
Patricia Feager, MBA, CRS, GRI,MRP
DFW FINE PROPERTIES - Flower Mound, TX
Selling Homes Changing Lives

Amen!!! Thanks Lawrence "Larry" & Sheila Agranoff. Call 631-805-4400 (c)!!!

This is not catalogue shopping!!! Thank you for your support and understanding! 

Aug 13, 2015 02:07 AM
Michael Jacobs
Pasadena, CA
Pasadena And Southern California 818.516.4393

Hi Patricia -- I've had a husband buy without the wife and I suggested she come see it during the inspection/investigation phase of the transaction but she didn't step inside until the day of the walk-through.  There was a virtual tour but it's not the same as using all of your senses to experience a home.   

Aug 13, 2015 02:20 AM
Pamela Seley
West Coast Realty Division - Murrieta, CA
Residential Real Estate Agent serving SW RivCo CA

They can but with the caveat they will be putting it on the market soon. If spouses are not able to look at homes together, I would suggest renting first. 

Aug 13, 2015 02:44 AM
Rachel D. Hayes
Walzel Properties LLC - Houston, TX
Buy & Sell with Rachel!

HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE!  The husband should not buy the house without the wife seeing it in person. She should be there in person to see how it "feels". You can't tell the "feel" of the home via Skype, or FaceTime, or any other video service. 

Aug 13, 2015 03:06 AM
Bob Crane
Woodland Management Service / Woodland Real Estate, KW Diversified - Stevens Point, WI
Forestland Experts! 715-204-9671

Hi Patricia, those were the 4 that we either lived in or still do live in, I just happened to buy them while out looking for investments.

 Fortunately she is one of those rare people who is not very fussy, as long as we are together, she is fine. 

Aug 13, 2015 03:56 AM
Margaret Woda
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Crofton, MD
Maryland Real Estate & Military Relocation

Guess I'm very lucky because I've always had good luck with trailing spouse situations. I've even sold two houses sight unseen to people who trusted me and then came into town to confirm and finalize the sale.  In all of these cases, I was dealing with transfering military and they did have a sphere of influence in the area that I assume they consulted with, but the topic never came up. I will say that this situation is a lot easier with today's online photos, electronic signatures, etc.

Aug 13, 2015 05:30 AM
Myrl Jeffcoat
Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Realtor - Retired

It has been my experience that if you can satisfy a husband's financial needs when it comes to buying a house, while at the same time satisfying the wife's emotional needs for closet space and the kitchen, you have a sale.

It is always best to have the couple making the decision together.  I've done it with them separate a couple of times, and it went well.  But, I did have concerns during the process.

Aug 13, 2015 10:03 AM
Robert Vegas Bob Swetz
Las Vegas, NV

Hello Patricia ... very interesting subject, interesting comments and your post has been featured to the group:

Real Estate - Today and Tomorrow 

Aug 18, 2015 02:55 PM