Dueling Spouses, when you have a listing and neither spouse can see the goal.

It seems to be happening more and more these days.  When the economy tanks so does marriages and there is more than enough blame to go around.

I have just listed a couple different properties were the spouses are tangled in an emotional battle.  They could care less if the home actually sells and for how much as long as their former spouse gets nothing!

What's wrong with this picture?  It is simple...emotions can make for a very good opportunity to start over turn ugly.  In the two cases I am representing they just can not see the value of co-operation.  So I had to take the time to meet with them independently to discuss the rules of my representation.  Yes I said rules.  I had to put it to them like a referee.

I thought of having them sit in a corner until they cleared their heads.  These are not kids but they are acting like a two year old.  The problem is...I understand.  I was divorced shortly after coming back from Vietnam.  I wasn't the same person that left when I came back.  My attitude, wants and desires had changed drastically.

In many cases these people should not have gotten married in the first place but that is not for me to judge.  The big factor is when kids are involved, they are the real losers.

So my job is to sell real estate and represent them in the process.  In most divorce cases one party is the controlling part when real estate is involved.  The divorce decrees offer clear cut direction on who is going to be the selling party.  Your listing of the property is no problem when you include and keep on file a copy of the divorce papers.

Luckily my feuding couple didn't have children (a blessing to the world) and were given equal custody of the property rights...what a dumb thing to do....so both have to sign and agree on sell price, listing time frames you know the drill.

So they are divorced but they cannot afford to live outside of the home they shared.  You guessed it..they are both living in the same house since the divorce!  This is a new one on me.  Neither wants to move because the other will change the locks and their possessions will be gone.  Right!  That never happens!

So the rules.

1. I sell the house they help.
2. We agree to a bottom line on the sell price.
3. We co-operate with showings so they can move on with their lives.
4. I communicate with them separately via email...each will get a CC: email on any communication so each knows what the other knows.
5. I will contact both on showings and each has to make their section of the home ready for showings.
6. They agree to sign all documents and meet for any offers...no matter what they are.  We can always counter offer.
7. We agree that the sale rather than foreclosure or short sale will help them with their credit so they can buy another property.
8. We agree to answer all calls the same day and within hours if possible.
9. We agree that mutual co-operation with each other to sell is in each person's best interest.
10. Any complaints are immediately brought to my attention, if anyone acts out like kids we terminate the contract and you find another Realtor.

They are in their mid 30's and both said, Gee you are acting like our parents.  I said, this is business, your are asking me to spend my time and money....If you want results you have to help.  Why should I have to spend money so you two can fight with each other and screw up your lives more than you already have at my expense!

They both looked wide eyed at me and then burst out laughing....Yup just like our parents.  I wrote these 10 little things up on a paper and had them sign and date it, giving them a copy.  So far so good.  It was worth the time to set the rules up front or I would have been wasting my time and money.

Have you ever become the referee?