Can you please sell my 'Mouse House'?
Friday I had the pleasure to be introduced to a new program on HGTV which is called ‘Unsellables’ and I wanted to report back to you all on the very first riveting episode! As the title of the post is eluding too, I never thought that I would hear a seller say ‘it’s a problem there are mouse droppings on the dining room table?’. Will that restrict my showings ya think? DUH.
Seller is also saying ‘is that what all that stuff is on the back porch too? I used to have a lot of food out there, I guess they ate it! DUH.
Yes it gets better! Besides the mouse droppings all over the house, the seller also has ‘creative and artistic’ girls that draw all over the walls and woodwork in their rooms! Will that restrict my showings – the bright paint color (magenta and yellow)? DUH.
The fact that I haven’t cleaned the house in 2 years but I need to sell right away because now that we are blending our families and we have 2 mortgage payments – that might be a problem? DUH.
Can you help me Sofie? I don’t know what to do! (Bats her eyes here).
Now Sofie, the very photogenic stager from England mind you, says no problem Ms. Common Sense Challenged Seller. In spite of
the fact you are a complete slob and they don’t pay me enough money to actually pick up mouse droppings on TV – let’s get started turning your lemon into lemonade! (Giggles).
So poor Sofie obviously helps Ms. Mentally Handicapped Scrub Challenged Seller to fix up her home and truly turns it into a pretty nice looking place!
Duh, duh and triple duh! I can’t believe that people can be that ridiculously stupid when they sell their homes. I try constantly to educate my sellers as to the current market place in my area where there are A LOT of great homes for buyers to choose. But I can’t remember ever having to mention the mouse droppings on the dining room table!
Yes Mr. and Mrs. Seller, you will have to scrape your dirty underwear off the floor if you want to sell your home! Sorry, there are no excuses here. People do not want to see your unmentionables at all, in any form, at any time. Put them away with the hand cuffs.
Yes Mr. and Mrs. Seller, you cannot charge extra for the small oak trees growing in your gutters on the front of your stunning hovel. If it weren’t for the falling gutters the other landscaping wouldn’t get watered you say? How nice. Ever hear of ‘curb appeal’?
I just can’t believe that HGTV actually finds these people to open up their homes and be totally dissected ‘on the telly’ by a Brit decorator! I would be absolutely mortified! Change that - mortified X 2.
Lyn Sims (847)230-7324 RE/MAX Suburban
I prefer to sell homes with no mouse droppings in the Northwest Suburbs of Chicago! If you are thinking about purchasing or selling your home in the communities of Schaumburg, Hoffman Estates, Roselle, Elk Grove Village, Palatine, Medinah, Itasca, Bloomingdale, Carol Stream, Bartlett, Hanover Park, Streamwood, Elgin, South Elgin, St. Charles and more importantly, want to work with a local area expert, contact me immediately.
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From cluttered homes to messy bedrooms, from dated decor to filthy interiors, The Unsellables transforms unsightly and unsellable properties into real estate gems — and encourages homeowners to let go of the past, get smart and prepare for a sale. Join property guru and British TV personality Sofie Allsopp and her trusty contractor Anthony Sayers as she coaches and cajoles home sellers through a major clean-up and targeted makeover that will help them seal the deal. There's plenty of drama and inspiration along the way — and lots of how-to tips for turning real estate lemons into lemonade!
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Andrea will soon have two mortgages, so she needs host Sofie Allsopp's help in marketing her home.
Just say 'no' to the Mouse House - 2009 Lyn Sims and RealEstateConsumerInfo.com
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