1 ACCEPT that some days you're the windshield, and some days you're the bug. You can't always control which day you're which. Get
used to it and get over it.
2 ALWAYS keep your words soft and sweet. You never know when you may be forced to "eat them".
3 ALWAYS read stuff (books and magazines) that will make you look good (or at least, won't make you look bad) if you should, by chance, die while reading it. (Local Realtor dies, while sitting in his Barcalounger, while reading the latest issue of Jigantic Jugs... News at 10:00)
4 DRIVE carefully. Pay attention to the road. I won't tell a large group of Realtors not to use their cellphones while in the car, but if you must, try hands-free. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
5 IF YOU can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. I have no intention of making that any clearer.
6 IF YOU LEND someone twenty dollars, and you never see that person again... it was probably worth the twenty dollars. no?
7 IT MAY BE that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
8 NEVER BUY a car you can't push. (Can I push the Mercedes "S" series?)
9 NEVER put both of your feet in your mouth at the same time, because you won't have a leg to stand on. (oh, "won't have a leg to stand on"... I just got that!)
10 NOBODY CARES that you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. Your spouse, or significant other, will be most appreciative, and after all, whose opinion is more important to you... the opinions of strangers on the dance floor... or that of your wife?
11 WHEN EVERYTHING is coming your way, pay particular attention. It may be because you're in the wrong lane! (refer to #4)
12 BIRTHDAYS are good for you. The more you have, the longer you'll live. (I know, seems so obvious now, doesn't it?)
13 SOME MISTAKES are so much fun, that it's a shame to make them only once.
14 A TRULY HAPPY PERSON is the one who can enjoy the scenery, even on a detour. Maybe especially on a detour!
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