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How to Successfully Engage the Sale of "The Angry House!" Part 2

Sometime ago, I wrote a post about dealing with 'angry houses.' In the Grand Rapids, MI real estate market, the percentage of homes sold through foreclosure and short sale has risen to approximately 70% of all transactions.

The post was written from the perspective of dealing with a homeowner during a distress sale, but there was one comment from a fellow agent here on Active Rain which really arrested my attention. And here's why...

Christina Bennani, a Remax agent shared this experience in a comment on the blog:

"I sold an depressed house to a family I felt for sure could turn it around, 2 years later they are also in financial ruin and trying to sell. I'm not sure I could sell it to another family."

What do you think? Have you had this experience. What are the implications for new home buyers who are moving into these properties? Is it possible that they can be affected by what has happened in the home before they arrived? What would you do? The original article is posted below.

How to Successfully Engage the Sale of "The Angry House!"

angry house Unless you're brand new...you've been in one! Your first encounter may seem quite benign...a listing pops up for a client and the information seems perfect. There are usually no pictures on line...but never mind. The home is in the right area...and seems to be priced right. So, you pop off a quick e-mail and arrange to go over to take a look.

That's when things begin to become interesting. The view from the sidewalk may reveal a number of issues which are potential red flags. In winter time...the home may not have seen a snow plow for awhile. You are faced with contemplating wading through a foot of snow to try to access the front door. In summer, the trek may be through grass a foot high at the back door where the key-box is...while this is not as cold, it is still disconcerting.

An examination of the home reveals what you've sensed ever since you pulled up at the driveway. Someone who lived in this home was not happy and the home reflects their time of discontent.

Angry houses reside in every neighborhood...because angry, hurt people do. Sometimes the signs of the tension are apparent...holes in the doors or walls, stripped wall paper, garbage or junk left around or items stripped from their moorings...At other times, it is much more subtle.

I've been in homes which simply exuded sadness. I felt it as soon as I walked through the front door. It's as though the essence of what happened in the home had not yet left; there was a palpable weight of misery which seemed to permeate the core of the walls. I've noticed that clients will also instinctively absorb the vibes of a place. Small animals become jittery, seeming to want to escape as quickly as possible...little children become whiny and loudly demand that we leave. In the worst cases...everyone just wants to EXIT as fast as possible!

Neglected homes often exude the same type of energy that Angry Homes do. The neglect may stem from a variety of different sources, including excessive clutter..but the overall effect is the same. The home feels unkempt and uncared for.

So, what can one do if you're given the task of selling an "Angry House? Sometimes, the owners are still living in the home. Their ongoing battles, anger, bitterness and sadness continues to be a potent influence. If home owners cannot leave their home prior to the home being placed on the market, it is important to explain to them that they should not be present during showings. The presence of homeowners has a way of increasing the level of discomfort which may already exist in a space.

Another helpful suggestion is to hire a home stager. Staging a home can be a very powerful way to neutralize bad vibes. It's amazing the difference that a coat of paint, some new carpeting and tastefully appointed furnishings can make in a home which has been bruised and battered by its' former owners. I remember walking through a formerly battered home which had been staged and put on the market for resale. I was astounded by the change! It seemed as though the home had once again found rest.

But perhaps, the most important service that I provide as an agent is talking with home owners about the message they are sending out about their home when they project their anger on their surroundings. Often times people are not aware of how much impact their emotions have on their surroundings. Sometimes, they do not care. I explain that effort expended in cleaning up their environment physically, emotionally and spiritually has the potential to create good dividends for them. The converse is a home on the market for many, many months and a sale far below the potential market value.

Anger can be a very costly luxury...in relationships and in successful home sale! Bringing a home back to a place of peace restores balance and prosperity. It also attracts the favorable response of those who matter most in a successful home sale...Potential Buyers!

Lola Audu, CRS, GRI e-Pro ~ Audu Real Estate

Lola Audu, is the Designated Broker & Owner of Audu Real Estate. Our company specializes in helping people buy and sell homes in the greater Grand Rapids, West Michigan area. We've had the privilege of helping hundreds of clients succeed in their goals of purchasing and selling property including demonstrated success in the negotiation of Short Sale Transactions. You can contact us via e-mail @ info@auduhomes.com or by phone at 616-791-0511.

Posted by Lola Audu~Real Estate Broker/Owner Grand Rapids, Michigan Real Estate on 04/09/2009 01:13 AM

Comments (62)

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62 Comments on How to Successfully Engage the Sale of "The Angry House!" Part 2

APR

Amazing how we can feel stuff like that in a house isn't it? I had my client sit in a house they really liked for awhile just to get a feel for the place and got a look like "weird or what" but afterward I think they caught on, if it doesn't feel right, how will it ever feel like home? Great post Lola.

So many homes today have such a sad story and with banks not being willing to correct obvious flaws some of these home will need a major price reduction instead of a major face lift. Too bad the banks don't realize the money they are throwing away by not fixing the problems.

Steve, this is an area which perhaps needs more study especially as more homes are sold in this way. As I read Christina's firshand experience, I was reminded about the fact that we need to be mindful of the fact that a home is about more than just the bricks and mortar. Thanks for your comment this evening...

Terry...do you think that this is simply a physical problem? Christina's clients bought the home with the intent of fixing the physical problems. I agree that banks need to understand the importance of fixing obvious issues of neglect and abuse, but I also wonder if this goes deeper...

I have not been as good at picking up on this feeling as my clients have Lola, but they tell me about it and we depart and find something else.

That's an interesting comment Gary. Perhaps, they are more sensitve because they are considering a place for themselves. The good thing is that you are sensitive in responding to their comments and concerns.

Lola - I was really touched by this post. You are right - there are some homes out there where the emotions of the homeowners (living there or recently gone) are very palpable, adn the negativity if present everywhere you go. On the one hand you can really understand the plight of some folks who are being taken advantage of by banks, who are delaying the sale of their homes so they can more on to a better life, thus creating more anger and resentment. One wonders if some homes will actually ever sell without major repairs and improvements being done, given the prices the banks are hoping to obtain. I have seen more than my share of homes that simply are not livable.

Jeff

Jeff, sometimes I wonder WHY banks seem to be at such odds with basic business principles when it comes to dealing with this crisis. It has never made sense to try to sell anything without putting the best foot forward. It's almost as though they are mired in the psychological misery too and are collectively unable to see their way forward. I wonder if sometime in the future, we will look at this crisis as not merely a financial crisis, but something far deeper in the way in which it has impacted the core of the American psyche...

APR

LOLA- This is an excellent post! I have witnessed first hand what you have so eloquently described. I agree that this may indeed be worth a deeper dealve into.

Homes like people, do exude "vibes" to those people who are sensitive or perceptive or intuitive enough to feel them. Good or bad, but in particular the negative "vibes" tend to reverberate- which is why the animals and kids become aggitated or uneasy. As you said aside from the physical signs, there is something else one "feels" which makes them uneasy, and/or uncomfortable. A negative energy left lingering in perpetuity.

Well written and a great topic!

Hi Lola, it is nice to meet you here. I wholeheartedly agree with your subject, I very much enjoyed reading your post on this subject. This is indeed a real phenomenon. We are people, but we are also spiritual and it is our essence that is sharp at picking these feelings up. In these instances I would consider a few Feng Shui tips and help rid the house of as much negativity as possible. Sweetgrass anyone? When the angry homeowners are living there, a few simple updates may in fact help their anger problems and help them relax a bit. Thanks for sharing this important topic. A friend in NH.

Just as we can tell upon entering, that we are in a happy or blessed home, so too can you feel when there is unhappiness or loss of hope in a family home. One just has to look around to see chaos and clutter, especially in a home where the owners just don't care.........they have no alternatives, they have lost hope. They are losing their home and there is nothing they can do.

I think it is then we must be empathatic and respectful to their situation. Good people are losing homes and life savings thru no fault of their own is alot of situations.

There's "no place like home" unless you are in the process of losing yours.

I must be looking at homes through rose colored glasses. Homes that meet my buyers' stated needs and in their price range are friendly, positive experiences.

I can feel the difference as well as my clients. Fortunately we are not faced with many foreclosures but we can almost always tell when it's divorce or moving and not want to be moving. There is not the care given to staging and the details that show love and pride of ownership.

Lola,

Very timely and relevant post.

I would be interested to know exactly how that conversation with the seller goes, and how successful it is? I have been fortunate in my dealings with "must sell" situations to have accommodating sellers, willing to heed my guidance . . . but those situations were more "sad" than "angry". It seems that angry / frustrated / bitter sellers are far less likely to want someone telling them what to do / how to do it? Pretty uncomfortable.

As you mentioned, sometimes the issue is a little deeper than even the physical. But howdo you tell someone they have to de-stress emotionally to better sell their house? Not an easy thing to do (and one more hat we have to wear . . . psychoanalyst)!

Having worked the other side . . . selling angry houses to buyers, and seeing the signs of rage and disrepair you mention above -- smashed fixtures, fist holes in walls, doors, etc. -- I can only imagine being the agent trying to tell someone like that to "chill out", stop griping and start cleaning. :-)

Would love to hear some tales from the trenches of actually dealing with these situations . . .

Lola,

Congratulations on the feature! I don't think that inanimate objects have "energy." They're just things. I'm with Lenn on this one. I've bought and fixed up more than one distressed property. My positive energy and attitude set the table, and the right buyer came along and said "Cool! I'll buy it."

Mike in Tucson

Lola...

Do you think someday there may be a market for a home exorcist? :)

TLW...ROAR!

Hi Lola, Amazed that 70 % of sales are distressed ! Too many sad stories. I don't think there is carryover of " spirit" from seller to buyer but totally agree that selling an occupied home sends vibes !

Lola- never thought about a house as "angry or sad" but now that you mention it, I can see what you mean. I've seen many foreclosures that appear sad and neglected. You might be interested in Carole Provenzale's blogs. She's the Feng Shui lady and has many interesting stories!

You definitely possess emotional intelligence. When I started real estate in Oklahoma it was 1989. We used to get a HUD repo list with over 2500 homes every week, and that was made worse by VA, Fannie, and the FDIC. I went into so many repossessed homes it got to me. I was always trying to imagine what went on before I got there. The positive part is that in a very down economy resulting from the energy bust, I found you could also make a great living. I respect your work in difficult market conditions, but judging from your post, you will be fine. You know where they moved your cheese, and have the depth to deal with it.

These type of houses can sometimes be a great buy, that is the general contractor in me talking. They can also be a nightmare for someone who doesnt understand what they are getting into. In my opinion the best we can do as agents is advise our clients to the best of our ablitiy.

I have seen some homes that are cluttered or in disrepair but I have never felt a "vibe" in a house where it's negative. I did work with a couple that was divorced but hadn't moved out yet because they couldn't afford to until they sold the house, and it was amicable.

Of course I get quoted on a post I make a typo : )

The house I referenced had tragedy associated with it, I listed it for the Seller and sold it to a very excited hopeful family I thought would bring great energy to it. Unfortunately it has brought financial and emotional ruin to them so much like it's previous owner. I personally couldn't list it and sell it again. This is the only time in my career it happened and I would worry about the next owner.

Lola, "Angry House" is a very accurate description of some foreclosed properties. I have seen a few, and it is truly sad to look at one of those properties.

Lola, great post. I am not sure what it is with some houses but you are right. You walk in and you feel the sadness or the anger.

Bettina

Wow, great insight. It's sad but true, and unfortunately, sometimes the angry people are making the situation worse because then they're not able to sell, which puts them in an even worse situation. It can be hard to know what to do, but you've got some good tips.

Lola - Call me crazy but I think some homes just have a weird Aura. You feel it when you walk into the house. 4 years ago my when my husband and I were looking for the right house we walked into one of these weird houses. It was a normal ranch in an ideal spot, but it just didn't feel right. It eventually ended up selling and the current owners fixed up the house and put it back on the market last year. Never sold. I guess some houses just have bad joojoo.

I walked into one of those homes when I was a property manager for another company. A military family lived in this home. They were behind on the rent and by the time we figured out they had moved, it was two weeks later and they were in another state. I went to see what the house looked like and when I walked in, those bad vibes hit me like a ton of bricks. Of course, before them another military family had lived there and the wife had committed suicide in the bathroom while the rest of the family was watching TV in the other.

The neighbors scared off any potential lookers telling them about the suicide (not required by GA law to disclose that unless asked specifically).

The last couple that left had issues. They had yanked out the washer and dryer and water had run all over the house for two weeks. There was rotting food in the pantry and refrigerator and peanut butter on the walls. The toilets were a whole 'nother issue.

We replaced the carpet, painted the interior, cleaned up the yard and fixed the broken items and did get a great tenant. It took a while for that "mojo" to leave that property.

Allison, wouldn't it be interesting if we could track the emotional welfare of homes the way we can track their re-sale prices. Wonder if homes which had a history of happiness and success would be worth more. LOL...

But on a more serious note, there are homes which have negative vibes; sometimes simply because the space has been so uncared for by the previous occupants.

Karen, interesting thought...that a home owner may be affecting their home sale negatively by their anger in much the same way they would impact a home sale by not preparing the home to present well. Seems pretty 'far out' thinking today, but who knows what we will discover in the future. :)

Sandie, thank you for your insightful comment. One cannot help but notice the sadness which so many millions of Americans are experiencing right now in the loss of homes. As real estate professionals, this is another area where we can be of service...through empathy and compassion.

Lenn...appreciate your perspective. I was simply struck by what Christina observed and others have also noted. Homes are more than just the brick and mortar and with this much chaos occuring in the industry, I do think there is an effect from all the negativity even when the transfer results in a financial gain for another party.

Dorrie, I think an effective stager can make a real difference in situations like this. When staging is done well, it is because the stager is able to truly comprehend how to make the space which is being staged show to it's best potential. That takes insight and perceptiveness...all intangible traits.

Trent, you're right...there is a difference between sadness and outright anger. When home owners take out their anger on the home, there is a tendency to be less open to counsel. I'm finding that generally sellers are more realistic about the market and there is less emotion related to pricing issues at least.

With regards to remainder of your comment...if only walls could talk. :)

Mike, you're proving my point with this portion of your comment "My positive energy and attitude set the table, and the right buyer came along and said "Cool! I'll buy it." How did your postive energy create a sale if it wasn't working in your favor with an inanimate object...the home that had just been fixed up. :) Positive energy is an intangible...just like negative energy is.

TLW...believe it or not...there already is! I googled the term and came up with over 4 Million hits! Check it out. Sometimes the truth is a strange thing.

Bill, it has been rough for many West Michigan home owners trying to sell their homes in this market. Fortunately the past 2 months seem to indicate a trend towards declining inventory and increased sales. We pray this continues.

The carryover theory is certainly anecdotal, but that doesn't mean that in certain situations, it is not an important component which may impact the well being of the participants in the transaction. Christina shared a real observation...

Hi Linda, thanks for your comments. Carole has written extensively about energy as have others. I think we are moving beyond a purely mechanistic view of life. Many cultures embrace a more spiritual concept of the world in which we live. I think we still have a lot to learn.

Thank you Joe. You introduce another interesting dynamic to this discussion...how are real estate agents impacted? In a sense, we are the first responders in this crisis. Just curious...in retrospect, was the money enough to offset the negative feelings/stress that you experienced?

Walter, Great point!

Christianne...this is about more than just being cluttered, although clutter does not assist in a sale.

Christiana, Thank you for sharing your comment on my post. Your honesty has opened up a valuable discussion on a topic which is not spoken about very much. You made me think about a dimension which I had not considered when I wrote the article originally.

George, it is sad & in some ways unsettling, at least for me.

Bettina, appreciate your comment.

Rich...sometimes there is nothing one can do. But if you're working with a buyer, particularly a first time home buyer, there may be value in acknowledging that a home which has been badly battered may have other intangible issues which may need to be attended to. Just a thought...

Jessica...hmmm...very interesting.

Wow, Sheila, that was quite a story!

Evening Lola - What a great post. Thanks for much for sharing and of course.......you are absolutely right!!!

Cheers

Most excellent post!

My theory is that house buying is NOT about what people think it is about.

Yes, price, location, condition, and staging are all very important, but the most important thing of all is the gut instinct that your family will be safe there.

Houses in poor condition send messages of violation, economic struggle, loss, marital discord, mental and physical illness.

Basically, they spell DANGER, and no one wants to relocate their families to a place that sets off so many alarms on so many levels.

These foreclosed houses are rife with terrifying messages. Even the average home typically sends these signals. Ben Gay on the nightstand, an apnea machine by the bed, a funky mothball odor, a cracked window pane, a chunk of brick in a walk path missing, all allude to decay, death, and loss.

Resetting the energy of a house is not difficult. Stagers know this all too well, and have carved out a specialized niche in the Real Estate Industry to reverse these messages and stimulate a feeling of peace, harmony, health, comfort, and abundance.

People just do not want to spend necessary funds to reverse the bad vibes. Even banks, who's business it is to make financially beneficial decisions, are affected by the instinct to run, not walk, from a property sending distress messages.

It just doesn't have to be that way. Gut instinct is the most powerful and under-discussed factor in the purchase of a home, but we all felt it and used it, when we bought our own homes.

~Michelle

Michelle, having sold homes for 14 years, I echo your statement....Selling a home is much more than just price and location. A home buyer is fortunate if they have the opportunity to work with an agent who understand this and serves the client's highest interest in every way.

I really appreciate your comment. Thank you for stopping here to read and contribute to the discussion this evening.

Great Blog .. I love reading the feature blogs at the end of a long day.. Happy Easter

Thank you. Happy Easter to you too Eric.

APR

I had never considered the idea of an 'angry' house, but it makes a lot of sense to me as do the ideas of a stager and/or talking with the owners.

I am glad Karen jumped in because a little feng shui will go along way. I would consult on it if it were my listing and see what I could do. Sad stories can have happy endings with our assistance.

I once showed a house in a great neighborhood. It was a well kept, nicely decorated, spacious home. My buyer made the comment that "something just wasn't right". I had felt that too, but didn't verbalize it. As we left, the owner came home. My client, making small talk, asked her about the neighborhood. She told us that she loved the neighborhood but it held sad memories for her. Her youngest daughter had been killed in a car wreck right around the corner. I still get goosebumps!

APR

Lola~ Great post, sad stuff, but something to think about. I am in an area that is probably 90% foreclosures/ short sales. We have 2,000 more hitting the market in the next couple of weeks. If you go house hunting around here it can be very depressing just looking. I have quoted staging for bank owned that have belongings left behind. Slippers, kids stickers, things that let you know it was once a FAMILY'S home.

Stagers can change this energy and make it welcoming for buyers. It is too bad most banks are not wanting to pay to stage.Actually, they aren't even willing to paint, repair and clean. Most of these houses are not in good condition. People want to live where they feel safe and comfortable, " at home". Hopefully banks will wake up, and care about the product they are trying to sell. A house that screams "troubled times" is not going to be the buyers first choice. It is kind of like being with a negative person. It will drag you down. We all search to be uplifted :)

Hi Lola,

So very true. Every house has "vibes" either good or bad. I think the best thing you can do is bring in a professional home stager. I know from experience (I am also an Accredited Home Staging Specialist) that staging is about more than just fixing, painting, de-cluttering and re-arranging furniture. It is about creating an atmosphere that allows the potential buyer to actually "see" themselves living in the home.

A little trick that may help - scented oil. Not the brands advertised on TV, rather the oils that are poured into a small vase designed for this purpose and wood reeds are inserted. The reeds act as a diffuser for the scent. Lavender or vanilla are calming scents. This may help create a better "vibe" and you don't have to worry about the risk associated with burning candles.

APR

Hi Lola,

This is one of the most poignant articles I've read on the subject of distressed homes. If the home is vacant staging can make a huge difference but it's almost impossible to mitigate the angst of distressed sellers who are living in their house on borrowed time.

The right floorplan and a decent street with kept up homes will do a lot toward making a house less angry. The poor house does not know what is going on, so the buyer better!

APR

Lola, your title intrigued me so I stopped in. I began reading and immediately thought about a vacant house I went out to preview based on the exterior view. As soon as I drove up, I got an image of a neglected beauty. But when I unlocked the door and went inside, I could feel what I call "the soul shake." It starts deep inside me and I begin to get cold. I was determined to view the whole house after driving to see it, yet as I entered each room a sense of foreboding increased. I left as soon as possible. Eventually I had a client who asked to view the home. They reacted the same way. If I had been approached to list the house I can almost certainly say I would have turned it down.

APR

Hello Lola, You have a very insightful way of looking at things, I enjoyed your post.

APR

Staging is the best money (provided it's an excellent stager) that money can buy.

APR

Lola,

This is an excellant Post.

I really, do feel the emotion of a House! Thankfully, I have not had a listing that affected me this way, however, I certainly have gone into those homes!

Staging, is an excellent idea to overcome that feeling in a home, it also gets the Realtor out of the position of coming across critical to the homeowner!

Loved your post. I have been in several homes that I felt bad vibes generating in the home. It is sort of scary and eerie. Thanks for the post very interesting,

APR

I enjoyed your post, just go and put up a big happy face on the front door...and maybe?

APR

Interesting blog. May be if the house wasn't angry any more it wouldn't need to be sold . Thanks for the info.

Liz

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