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Buyer's or Sellers Remorse . . . When our work is Not Done

Reblogger Lenn Harley
Real Estate Agent with Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate 303829;0225082372

WHEN CHARACTER COUNTS. . .  MEET ED SILVA!

Have you ever had second thoughts about posting a disagreement to an Lennarticle???  I surely have.  Granted, I generally go ahead and post because while it's very nice to have everyone agree with you, anyone who lives in the real world knows that's not going to happen.

ACTIVERAIN is a very friendly place but every once in a while, comments to a post will get testy or, sad to say, downright nasty.  Nasty gets deleted or, the often the error of their ways described in agonizing detail.  I confess that I have a few folks that have "ceased to exist" in my world simply because I don't deal with nasty folk.  Life's too short and I'm . . . .  well...

We do get to know each other on ActiveRain and generally know that, even if you post a disagreement, the writer will not take offense where none was ever intended.

I HAD SUCH AN EXPERIENCE THIS MORNING.  See Ed Silva's post below and his response to my comment which strongly disagreed with the premise.  Actually, I'm not sure that I was disagreeing or simply expressing a strong opinion on the subject of "helping" a senior home owner sell her home of many years.

Click on Ed's post below, "Buyer's or Sellers Remorse. . .  When our work is Not Done."  Be sure to read the comments.

You'll see that Ed Silva is a STAND-UP GUY.

Courtesy, Lenn Harley, Broker, Homefinders.com, 800-711-7988.

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Original content by Ed Silva, 203-206-0754 REB.0759001

So we think we're there, we got a contract into the system, and we're proceeding with the transaction. And then we get the call.

Hi Ed, it's me, Hazel, I think I made a mistake. I don't think I should be selling the house after all. I've been here so long, there are so many memories. I don't know where to even begin to start to get ready to pack. Giving me just two months to get out of here isn't long enough.

Hazel, we've been over this. You're here alone, you need to relocate closer to your family. The house is too big and too much work for you. You need to simplify your life sand enjoy it more.

Hazel, you will get through this. You already have somebody that's going to come in and take care of the furniture. All you need to do is take care of your personal possessions.

Seller's remorse. When they need to be reminded that a sales contract is a legally binding agreement. They are bound by the tenets of the contract and all has been explained to them several times. The client is again reminded that the only way the contract will not go through is if there are inspection issues that cannot be resolved, or if the buyer fails to secure a mortgage.

For the buyers, the amount of work that needs to be done and the details that present themselves get to be huge. The continual calls from the bank requesting additional documentation.

They start to think about the inspection and the number of areas of the home that require regular attention. The reality of the purchase starts to hit home. Maybe they get a few days where they can't get into work because of being sick. They see the reduction in their pay checks and wonder how they would be able to keep up with the expenses of the home, should they have a problem and not be able to get to work, or lose their jobs. Renting had so many fewer complications and somebody else did all the work around the building.

At some point through the working of a contract we are called upon to not be a Realtor, but to be a counselor. That is when we sit down and calmly let them to understand that this is not unusual. We need to remind them that this is a major purchase, but it can really be considered an investment in themselves and in their family's futures.

They need to understand that everybody goes through these periods of anxiety and because they have not tried to purchase more than they can possibly maintain or afford that the issues will resolve themselves and their will get through it.

The purchase of a home, especially for young first time buyers is an investment in themselves, similarto taking out an annuity. With proper guidance at the beginning of the transaction, they will not over-purchase. The first purchase is not the forever home, it's the starter home.

It's not unlike learning how to ride a bike. At first they had a bike with 3 wheels, which could be considered an apartment rental. Then, they progressed to a 2 wheel bike, maybe even with training wheels, which could be their initial purchase. As they developed confidence, they got rid of the extra wheels and went with just the two. With confidence, they would have gotten into something bigger, faster, a multi-speed bike, similar to the progressions many people make with their home purchases.

Remorse at some time in the transaction is not uncommon. Working through this is how we satisfy our clients.

Want to get more information on available homes or condos in the Greater Waterbury area? Go to my MLSPulse Home Search site to sign up for ALL Connecticut property listings!

Do you know somebody who is behind on their mortgage and doesn't know what to do? I may be able to help them, especially if they are facing foreclosure!

Visit my Short Sale Help site;  www.ctshortsalessite.com 

Whether looking to buy or sell, we service the Greater Waterbury towns of Beacon Falls, Bethany, Cheshire, Naugatuck, Middlebury, Thomaston, Waterbury, Watertown and Wolcott 

Ed Silva  RE/MAX PARTNERS,  www.edwardsilva.com  203-206-0754

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Comments(27)

Don Spera
CR Property Group, LLC - East York, PA
Serving York and Adams County, PA

As much as I sympathize with the Seller, you know deep inside that this is the way they should go, by selling their home and getting off of that emotional roller coaster ride.  If the Seller can't afford to maintain the property or if they need Health Care and can't afford for someone to come in and take care of them, then the choice ultimately will be with their children if something devastating happens.

Oct 31, 2010 03:11 AM
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Lenn, the house I just sold in Lovettsville was a sweet granny who was sellers remorse waiting to happen.  Luckily, the buyer picked up on it and sort of adopted her, invited her back to see the place and lets her know constantly how much he loves it.  In the end, she felt very good about the move.  Not all buyers are this sensitive.

Oct 31, 2010 04:14 AM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

Lenn, you're going to give away the real me with your comments. Thanks for the considerations, and of course your friendship. xoxoxo

Oct 31, 2010 04:48 AM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Eric.  It's particularly hard for the elderly to "let go" of the family homes.  I've sold homes of widows, wodowers or couples who had lived in their homes for 50 years or more.  They know that the move they're making is more than likely going to be their last and the finality of it is sometimes overwhelming. 

Don.  Of course you're right for the most part, but the folks have to feel comfortable with the decision and this is no time to pressure.  I've known agents who did and it was distasteful. 

Michael.  HA!  I believe that was just for us.

Patricia.  That is so important.  One of the factors that make a move comfortable for someone who has owned their home for many years is just knowing that it's going to be loved and cared for.

Ed.  You can fool some of the folks some of the time, but you can't fool me.  I know that deep down, y6ou're an old softy.

Oct 31, 2010 08:29 AM
Shar Sitter
Rooms With Style - Minneapolis, MN
Home Staging and Redesign Minneapolis/ St. Paul, M

I love what the buyers in Patricia's comment above did for the seller. If we were all more outwardly centered than self-centered what a difference there would be.

Oct 31, 2010 08:41 AM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Shar.  Most of us, IMO, are.  Patricia is an experienced and caring agent.

Oct 31, 2010 08:49 AM
Mike Saunders
Retired - Athens, GA

We can often tell early in the process whether or not remorse is or will be settling in, subtle, or actually not so subtle if I can pick up on them, nuances can be seen that give us the warning. And hopefully, we can help work through it ahead of time, without the buyers or sellers getting "sold".

Oct 31, 2010 09:03 AM
Damon Gettier
Damon Gettier & Associates, REALTORS- Roanoke Va Short Sale Expert - Roanoke, VA
Broker/Owner ABRM, GRI, CDPE

Usually buyer or sellers remorse is easy to differentiate from just a change of mind.

Oct 31, 2010 09:35 AM
Charlie Ragonesi
AllMountainRealty.com - Big Canoe, GA
Homes - Big Canoe, Jasper, North Georgia Pros

Buyers and sellers do get remorse. I remind them of why they are buying or selling and that usually works. It is a tough issue and I have to really soul search before i say anything. I am trying to make sure i am not just trying to make the deal as opposed to working in what is legitimately the best interest of my client

Oct 31, 2010 09:58 AM
Michelle Francis
Tim Francis Realty LLC - Atlanta, GA
Realtor, Buckhead Atlanta Homes for Sale & Lease

Lenn, 

Great perspective and kudos to Ed, who did handle the response very well.  Some times it just is tough, even when our clients want what we accomplish, it isn't easy!  

Hand holding is a part of our job. 

All the best, Michelle

Oct 31, 2010 10:14 AM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

For the record, I've purchased 8 homes over the years and had "buyer's remorse" at some time during each one.

It's human nature to second guess ourselves. 

Oct 31, 2010 11:03 AM
Jack Mossman - The Nines Team at Keller Williams in Lodi
The Nines Team at Keller Williams in Lodi - Lodi, CA
The Nines Team in Lodi

Lenn - thanks for a thoughtful and purposeful post - creating some meaningful dialog outside the original post.  This is why I hate to see comments disallowed on reblogs!  Thanks ...

Oct 31, 2010 11:10 AM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Jack.  Eeeeekkkkk!!!

When comments are disabled, I am likely to scream out loud. 

If there's one thing I hate in life it's to be THWARTED!

When a blogger disables comments, usually directing folks to go to the original poster, they are making decisions for others about to whom we comment.

I never follow the post when they reblogger does that.  NEVER!!

Oct 31, 2010 11:16 AM
Evelyn Johnston
Friends & Neighbors Real Estate - Elkhart, IN
The People You Know, Like and Trust!

I just closed on a home (my first closing at my own brokerage...) that the folks lived there for more than 60 years, raised their kids and had so many memories.  The new buyers graciously allowed the Lady Seller to come over and go over all the details on the home and flowers she grew from starts to a tree her brother from Virginia brought to her.  It was a hard thing for her to do, give up all those memories, but she got through it.  The new buyers assured her they would leave the home the same and she could stop by anytime she needed to visit.

Oct 31, 2010 03:31 PM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Evelyn.  Mmmmm.  "leave the home the same" is asking a lot of buyers.  I don't believe that sellers should even expect that. 

It is a nice gesture.

Oct 31, 2010 10:48 PM
Bill Gassett
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Hopkinton, MA
Metrowest Massachusetts Real Estate

Lenn - Over the years I have had a few sellers get remorseful after it was too late. It is important to explain that signing a contract is binding in many circumstances.

Nov 01, 2010 12:36 AM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Bill.  Indeed.  Buyers have earnest money on the line, but sellers do not.  When a seller defaults, there is often nothing the buyer can do but get their earnest money back and move on.

 

Nov 01, 2010 12:49 AM
Dr. Paula McDonald
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

Bottom line is that we are dealing with people first and the real estate second.  Being attuned to feeling while remaining professional to the task at hand is essential.

Nov 01, 2010 01:49 AM
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

Paula.  Of course, and agents who ignore the human side to the folks buying homes may not do so well.

 

Nov 01, 2010 01:53 AM
Brenda Mullen
RE/MAX Associates - San Antonio, TX
Your San Antonio TX Real Estate Agent!!

I think a great memento would be to take pictures of the home and create a photo album for the sellers as a keepsake.  This way they could take a little of their home with them. 

I can't imagine how hard it would be to leave that many memories behind and it steams me that there are those out there ready to take advantage of people like this! 

Nov 01, 2010 02:38 AM