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This needs a re-write

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Marte Cliff Copywriting

Found in the local real estate flyer this week: A very nice office building for sale - with very lame photos and descriptions.

I think perhaps this needs a re-write:

"Vaulted well lite ceilings in both office spaces with wood tongue and groove covering."

They didn't really need that description because the ad included a photo of the ceiling - showing the varnished tongue and groove finish and recessed can lights. It also included 2 photos of blank walls, each with a window and a short description saying the rooms were spacious.

To be fair, yes there was a nice photo of the exterior.

But darn. It would be so easy to re-write that sentence. And it would be so easy to include the dimensions of the conference room and reception area. "Spacious" really doesn't say much.

Comments(3)

Kim Boekholder Utah Real Estate/ PECO
Results Real Estate 801.580.5624 - Draper, UT
Broker Results Real Estate/Leasing Specialist PECO
Good points about adding the deminsions...more details and better pictures would benefit the listing greatly. Too bad you can't help the sellers out
Aug 22, 2012 09:58 AM
Steven Cook
No Longer Processing Mortgages. - Tacoma, WA

Marte -- don't you realize that is part of their marketing strategy to get you to call them to find out that information?

Aug 22, 2012 11:00 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Kim - I don't know who owns that property now - I know who had it built 20 years ago, but expect that has changed since he moved away from here a good long time ago.

Steven - If you were talking about some other agent I might think there was strategy involved. But, no - I doubt it. This is an agent who let his sign hang upside down on my neighbor's property for nearly a year.

Aug 22, 2012 01:48 PM