Who wants to give in? Who wants to be the first? You see at some point this has to take place. We have complicated it and made it into a game of sorts. Strategy has become part of the dynamics. Compromise will be with us for our life times...use it on everything except one thing......your principals
GIVE & TAKE
We have to find solutions and each person may see their way to be the best way. But you see everyone sees their way to be the best way so being inflexible is not an option. Give and take is...Ask yourself what is important to you and form a list. Start with "must haves" and end with" nice" if I can get it
THE GOLD RULES?
Be prepared to exchange things on your list for the other guys things on his list. Anyone who plays my way or the highway is not ready to compromise. They are stuck and cannot go any farther. He who has the gold and practices ruling.... has no place in the compromise system..
GET GOING
It is okay to give to get. Be upfront about it. When interviewing for a job, they want and expect their needs to be met. If you don't agree, then we go no farther. But if you negotiate and and enter into concessions, perhaps we can find the common ground. I get you get we both get. Now, get to work!
WE ALL WANT
I remember when agents used to argue about what title company they wanted to use, what escrow and even whose notary service. When there is a dispute, we split the baby while trying to keep things moving forward. Remember, the other person wants it as bad as you do. Interaction skills required
LOVE COMPROMISE
In marriage disagreements, these prove to be most difficult because of the emotional stakes which distort reality. Love disguised as sacrifice must be up and about. One has to keep cool while looking for "peace in the valley" while practicing give and take and cannot be phony about it either. This stuff catches up with you if not handled properly.
GENERAL COMPROMISE
We are looking for the "HAPPY SPOT" where everyone agrees they are happy or the the traditional I win and you win. Greed tends to distort the "Win" scenario as people want to win bigger and more and not just win. What we have to remember is the other guy went to the same school you did meaning they want everything you want too...enter compromise
COMPROMISE PRINCIPALS?
Everything in life is negotiable. Everything but your principals. I remember a company I worked for decades ago being in a multi-million dollar lawsuit. Our CEO feared he couldn't win on merit and wanted to tilt the odds in our favor by forging documents. I was in the top sphere of influence with three other people who knew of this. He wanted to win at all costs come hell or high water.
THE THREE WOULD NOT COMPROMISE
Who could live with the idea to win at all costs? To lie and keep lying and to have to face each other with these facts daily was a haunting concept to me. Win or lose, it is like we did a deal with the devil and those never go well. There is no recovery from win at all costs and instead you get guilt, with tons of stain and blemish all over your soul...only God can help you here. We all took a stand. No forging!
HOW WE COME TO IT ALL
When seeking the promised land...the place where happy resides, where all get their share; when forming a list of MUST HAVES, include on your list a couple of things...1. to make sure the other person's wants are considered fairly and 2. make sure the whole thing is built on solid principals. Then, sleep deep for well earned rest
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