Take time today to tell someone how much they mean to you!

By
Real Estate Agent with Long & Foster Real Estate Inc PA License - AB067198

This post is inspired by Patricia Feager's Monday's Messenger

In that post Patricia asked a veteran what they thought we could do to show more support to our military. His answer was he knew what he was signing up for, but his family who get left behind when he leaves didn't.

Exploded Humvee

My son sent us this photo on his second tour of Iraq, he neglected to mention it was his Humvee, he is standing on the right. This was their first rip outside the wire on their second tour. His unit was a special forces unit and they were the sharp end of the spear, outside and exposed continuously. On his first tour, he lost 12 friends and colleagues.

As a family, Mom, Dad, brothers and related friends we obviously supported him, but we all did it in our own way. We also all had our own fears. 

He has told us we would always be notified if anything happened to him, someone would come to tell us. His mother basically did not sleep, continuously tracked injuries and deaths, watching for unit then waiting for more news. I avoided coming home, and when I did I was scanning the neighborhood for unusual cars to see if they were filled with Marines waiting to come and tell us something had happened.

We had a friend who dreamed if he sent an email something really bad was going to happen to our son. So as guilty as he felt for not emailing he did not. He shared this superstition with us and we totally understood.

The biggest take away from our son, even with all the support, the care packages etc was after one of his best friends was killed. 

Why do we wait till someone dies to talk about how much they mean to us and what a great person they are and what they have done. Only when they die do we gather in a football stadium in their hometown to say how much they mean to us.

So today I encourage all of us, because as I read recently, honestly we all have a thread hanging over us separating us from death. Tell those around you how much they mean to you. Don't go off in anger and regret if something happens. Hug those who need a hug. Realize none of us really knows what is going on in the lives of those who are acting like jerks. Yes, they may just be a jerk, but also something else may be going on that needs a little more understanding.

Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them this Valentine's Day. They may need to really, really hear it.

I thought I would update this. Jeremy is no longer in the Marines. He did write a book Kicking Ace, Taking Names, by Jeremy Vandekar available on Amazon and all royalties are donated to charity.

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Ambassador
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Nick and Trudy- I loved what you said and am very happy that your son is home and well. (I'll check out his book)  Your post hit home for me because Larry and I heard last week that a friend with whom we'd lost contact, had died.   I wish that we'd reached out to him and am sorry that we missed out on one more opportunity to spend time with him. 

Feb 12, 2017 01:05 PM #11
Rainmaker
431,565
Nick & Trudy Vandekar
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Kathy Streib, I am sorry you missed the chance to spend time with this friend. We take for granted so much that we have time, but you never know what is going to happen and we should always at every opportunity tell people what they mean to us.

Feb 12, 2017 02:38 PM #12
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Michelle Carr-Crowe-Top 1% Diamond Certified Real Estate Team Sells Cupertino San Jose Homes-Just Call 408-252-8900
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Family Helping Families Buy & Sell Homes 40+ Years

This was a very wonderful, and very important post to read. I am glad that your son is okay and his time in the Marines did not prove fatal. My thoughts and prayers are with the families of his friends who were not so lucky. Thank you for sharing this personal story, Nick & Trudy.

Feb 12, 2017 03:44 PM #13
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Praful Thakkar
Keller Williams Realty - Andover, MA
Andover, MA: Andover Luxury Homes For Sale

Nick & Trudy Vandekar - you are so right! We wait for that moment to tell them how much we love! And we never know when we 'lost' that moment!

Feb 12, 2017 04:28 PM #14
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Debbie Reynolds
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices PenFed Realty, Your Clarksville Real Estate Professional - Clarksville, TN
Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent

I have had friends over this weekend and a sick friend, too. I cannot tell you how many times this weekend I have told them how special they are to me. Thanks for the reminder.

Feb 12, 2017 04:37 PM #15
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Debbie Laity
Cedaredge Land Company - Cedaredge, CO
Your Real Estate Resource for Delta County, CO

I remember my uncle visiting on leave while he was with the Marines in Vietnam. Here's that story. He never came back. I completely understand what you are saying. And you don't have to have to have someone in the military to get what you are saying. Tell those around you each day how you feel. You never know when they may not come back home. 

Feb 12, 2017 06:24 PM #16
Rainmaker
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Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
New Hampshire Home Stager

My family is very good at this...we tell each other all the time. I just called my aunt last night to check in on her and the call ended, as it always does, with our  "I love you" goodbye.

Feb 13, 2017 10:54 AM #17
Rainmaker
431,565
Nick & Trudy Vandekar
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Sharon Tara that is excellent, all my adult sons say I love you at the end of a conversation. love it.

Debbie Laity I am sorry, people don't understand what families go through.

Debbie Reynolds I just had another friend on Facebook telling how he had dropped the ball with a friend and is attending their funeral this week. This is real, we have to make time for each other.

Praful Thakkar too true and you cannot get those lost moments back.

Michelle Carr Crowe thanks for reading, I know he remembers each one of those guys every year, and feels for their families.

Feb 13, 2017 11:17 AM #18
Ambassador
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

 

                                  Thank you Nick & Trudy Vandekar 

Feb 18, 2017 07:41 PM #19
Rainer
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Noel Mayer
FAIRMOUNT REALTORS - Montclair, NJ
YOU'RE RIGHT AT HOME WITH NOEL

Nick & Trudy Vandekar Thank you so much for touching our hearts 

Thank you for sharing

Feb 19, 2017 04:11 AM #20
Rainmaker
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Sally K. & David L. Hanson
Keller Williams 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Realtors - Luxury - Divorce - Short Sale

So glad your son returned home safely....and yes...there is no better time to tell someone how much they mean to you than right now.

Feb 19, 2017 04:52 AM #21
Rainmaker
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Mike Cooper
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Winchester, VA Real Estate Sales Pro

Nick & Trudy Vandekar, thank you for the reminder, and thank you for sharing your story. Families of our military are in the service too. They definitely need support along with our warriors. 

Feb 19, 2017 07:35 AM #22
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Jeff Dowler
Solutions Real Estate - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude - Carlsbad

Hi Nick and Trudy

I missed this the first time around but so enjoyed reading it and the sentiments you you shared. I totally agree!

Jeff

Feb 19, 2017 08:39 AM #23
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Rene Fabre
First American Title - Seattle, WA
New Media Marketing

Straight to the heart kinda post Nick & Trudy Vandekar ... Thank you!

Feb 19, 2017 09:45 AM #24
Rainmaker
431,565
Nick & Trudy Vandekar
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Kathy Streib thank you really appreciate it.

Noel Mayer thank you.

Sally K. and David L. Hanson so very true.

Mike Cooper we can get so wrapped up in our own personal world we forget to share our love and appreciation with those most important to us.

Jeff Dowler I have heard so many people who regret not taking time to let others know how much they mean to them. Funerals are too late.

Rene Fabre thank you.

Feb 19, 2017 10:18 AM #25
Rainmaker
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Sam Shueh
(408) 425-1601 - San Jose, CA
mba, cdpe, reopro, pe

This is such as inspiring blog. I worked with a lady her husband was a battalion commander in the Marines. Years ago he was sent to shoot Noriega in Panama. The lord was good to them he was stationed and stayed at Presidio watching Golden Gate. Last they were in a base near Wakiki Beach..... I wonder how they are or whether he was out of the military service into business. USMC sent him to Harvard to get a mba there...

Feb 19, 2017 03:57 PM #26
Rainmaker
502,619
Thomas J. Nelson, Realtor, CRS
Big Block Realty - La Jolla, CA
Co-Host of Mail-Right's: Real Estate Agent Podcast

Wonderful post.

I serve our military here, they are 40% of my business today and they are up to 60% in some years. 

Thank you to your son for his service. Thank you to you and yours for supporting him. I can't imagine the loss he feels.

I send personal notes often where I confess my true feelings to folks so they never wonder how I feel about them. I tell my bride and son very, very often.

 

Feb 19, 2017 08:54 PM #27
Rainmaker
431,565
Nick & Trudy Vandekar
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Sam Shueh thank you. The Marines do seem to look after their own and their is deinfitely a camraderie among them.

Thomas J. Nelson it is so important to let others know how you feel. I like the personal notes idea as opposed to an email or call. People love getting something like that.

Feb 20, 2017 12:58 PM #28
Rainmaker
874,308
Kat Palmiotti
Better Homes & Gardens Rand Realty, Monroe NY Real Estate, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com - Monroe, NY
The House Kat

Life is definitely fragile and we should definitely take time daily to let others know how much we care about them. A huge thank you to your son for his service. Our military men and women all sacrifice to serve.

Feb 21, 2017 03:29 AM #29
Rainmaker
431,565
Nick & Trudy Vandekar
Long & Foster Real Estate Inc - Devon, PA
Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line

Kat Palmiotti very true and thank you.

Feb 21, 2017 11:02 AM #30
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Nick & Trudy Vandekar

Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line
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