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Parents Helping You Buy a Home? Keep These Things in Mind

Reblogger June Piper-Brandon
Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Realty MD RE License 579412

It's not uncommon for parents to help their children purchase their first home.  I have several buyers that are receiving help from Mom and Dad.  

It's super important for you to set your client's and their parent's expectations through the transaction and communication is key!!

Don't be surprised when the lender asks Mom and Dad to sign a gift letter and for them to ask them to show where the money came from.  In today's current economic times it has become very important to source where the funds came from.  

Original content by Ron Cedillo BRE 01247457

It’s not uncommon for parents to help their children buy a home. In fact, according to a 2020 survey by Loan Depot, 65% of parents said they were willing to help their adult child buy a home by offering financial support by giving them help with a down payment, for example.

Having parents that are willing to contribute to your buying a home is something to be hugely grateful for. But it can also lead to some challenging dynamics, as well as conflict and tension between you and your parents.

But it doesn’t have to! A recent article from realtor.com outlined things you’ll want to keep in mind if your parents are helping you buy a home—and you want to keep tension and conflict to a minimum—including:

  • Set expectations from the get-go. Conflicts happen when people aren’t on the same page, so the clearer you and your parents communicate from the start, the smoother the process will be for everyone involved. Before you start looking at homes, sit down with your parents and have an open, honest conversation. Set expectations around the process, including how much they’re going to give you, and how involved (or not involved) they’ll be in the process of finding a home.
  • Don’t succumb to pressure. When your parents are financially contributing to your home buying process, they may be entitled to share their opinions around what house you should—or shouldn’t—buy. Which is fine, as long as you don’t feel pressured to make decisions based on their opinions. If your parents make a suggestion you don’t agree with (for example, buying a house with 2 acres of land—when you’ve already said you don’t have the time or desire to take care of a yard), thank them for their opinion, but then gently remind them what you’re looking for in a home.
  • Consider keeping your finances to yourself. When your parents are giving you money for a home, they may have questions about your finances. What you decide to share is ultimately up to you, but be wary of opening up your finances completely. The last thing you want is your parents digging into your finances and questioning everyday purchases, which could lead to tension as you look for a home.
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June Piper-Brandon ~ Associate Broker ~ MRP, AHWD, CDPE, ePro

Coldwell Banker

410-292-0100 - Direct   410-461-7600 Office

June Piper Brandon - Agent with Century 21 New Millennium

June Piper Brandon - Agent with Century 21 New Millennium

Comments(2)

Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi June,

This information is so critical to share with buyers who may have parents helping.  In AZ and probably elsewhere, you also have to consider non-arm length scenarios. 

A recent seller didn't remember that they had to rent back for 6 months from the parents that gave them a bridge loan.  Fortunately, I caught it.  They would have been two days shy of the 2-year rule for possession (Capital Gains)!  We moved the closing to the 23rd of September to fulfill that obligation.

Aug 30, 2022 10:18 AM
George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

June Piper-Brandon parents and grandparents are often very willing to gift the funds for down payment and closing costs, but many times do not want to let their child or grandchild know their finances, and do not want to provide bank statements to the child or grandchild in order to source the funds.  So what I usually do is to give the parents or grandparents in instructions for them to directly download the documents themselves into a secure portal, and the child or grandchild never gets to see them. 

Aug 30, 2022 01:32 PM