humor: A Bit of Humor to Relieve the Stress
- 03/23/20 03:37 PM
CORONA LOCKDOWN STRESS GROOMING:
Note to self:
Two showers a day (Kill time counting tiles), Shave legs often (I think I see bone), Pluck eyebrows (I'm down to one), Trim bangs (I'll miss those), Polish nails (It's hard to aim while drinking), Give self pedicure (I need a toe tourniquet), Give self-facial (Face now looks like a Wendy's burger), Touch up roots (Admire what appears to be a new color of the rainbow).
Up Next: Pour more wine. Start on dog. I wonder where Buddy is hiding....
Stay safe and well, everyone!
… (33 comments)
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humor: “Big square feets” - Blooper Footprints on the MLS
- 04/30/19 06:54 PM
Welcome back to the Blooper Blog. The week is in full swing, and the MLS is already rife with gaffes. Are agents typing their listing remarks while perched on bar stools at Hooters? Check out these hilarious typos:
Dare I Inquire?“Do nut park in back” (Sign at L.A.P.D. headquarters.)
“A grate deal” (Are you selling homes or Parmesan?)
“Bestiful jew carpet” (Said the Fiddler on the Roof.)
“Charming porch swinger” (Take my advice, never date a monkey.)
"Call for fat response" (Why pick up a phone when I can just eat more cake?)
Uh, What’s That You Said?“Big square feets” (Well you know what they say about … (48 comments)
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humor: The Blooper Blog - Because we all need a few laughs
- 06/26/18 02:19 PM
This is pre-vacay hustle week, so for your amusement, I am re-posting one of my Blooper Blogs with a few new additions. One field of study in education must be in hibernation, my friends – spelling! But how much fun would we have if we couldn’t occasionally laugh at some of these ridiculous gaffes from the MLS and the local real estate ads? Please enjoy:
Where the Bodies Lie…“Lvg newly planted” (RIP – just like your listing.)
"Please do not test me" (If I did, you'd get an 'F.')
“Corn early” (Agricultural update provided by Old MacDonald..)
“Beautiful craftmanshit” (So it's a pile of crap … (38 comments)
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humor: "Salads swerved" - Blooper Friday is Ba-a-a-a-ck!
- 08/25/17 02:47 PM
Blooper Friday is back, my friends. Maybe the summer heat is causing a few blackouts, because there were some serious (and hilarious) lapses in spelling and grammar this week. Please enjoy:
Good Morning!
"Leave card - waffle for Alexa" (Does that come with a side of bacon?)
"Large faat area in back" (Have you considered liposuction?)
"Hottest area around" (You must be referring to the area under my boobs the entire month of August.)
"Only clear beverages allowed" (Okay, I'll just hold the olives in my mouth.)
"Sprinkling at 5:00" (Lucky you - I sprinkle every half hour.)
Good Afternoon!
"Relax poolslide" (I suspect this house is built on … (31 comments)
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humor: Year End Laughter - The Blooper Blog is Back!
- 12/05/16 03:45 PM
Hi Friends - I'm ba-a-a-ck! I thought we should end the year with some laughter so here's another collection of MLS and real estate advertising bloopers. Please enjoy, and Happy Holidays!
Cracks me up!
"Removed drawers" - (So I guess we should expect a full moon tonight?)
"Incredible curd appeal" - (I'll alert Miss Muffet.)
"Big wok in closet" - (That explains the noodles in your loafers.)
"New holiday open house hors" - (For those who want a new hooker for Christmas...)
"Walls with foe paint" - (In most neighborhoods that's known as graffiti.)
"Cappuccino bart" - (He must be the dude with clenched teeth who keeps bouncing off the walls.)
"Sleek … (29 comments)
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humor: "Escrow now terminal" - Death by Blooper on the MLS
- 10/09/13 08:25 AM
Do you ever wonder how some people continue to get work in spite of their blunders? I know I do. I can overlook the occasional blooper, but some of these are ridiculous. They are also quite hilarious… although I doubt the sellers would think so. Welcome to the Friday Blooper Blog, which highlights real errors found in property listing descriptions in the MLS and local real estate ads. Please enjoy:
Rat-a-tat-tat! "Not open til furter notice" (Sold by Washington Congressional Realty, Inc.)
“Beautiful rodenten bushes” (Do you fertilize them with cheese?)
“Trampauline strays” (Pauline may be a tramp who strays, but you’re … (6 comments)
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humor: "Sighs of moisture" - Are MLS Bloopers Drowning Your Listings?
- 07/22/13 05:04 PM
It’s not Blooper Day until Friday folks, but I missed last Friday due to travel. Thus, I want to make it up to you with a midweek post. (I will still post Friday as usual.) Last week I found everything from cod to chaos in the MLS and other real estate advertisements. Some of these gaffes were hard to decipher, but they were all darn funny. These were my favorites:
Are You Lost? “Please leave our phone #” (If you’re that lost, you need a trail of bread crumbs.)
“Send daft” (So they found your missing twin?)
“Great food from the dell” (Well, “Heigh ho the … (17 comments)
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humor: Don't You Wish You Had Used Spell Check? (Hysterical MLS Bloopers)
- 05/30/13 05:26 PM
Hi, friends. It’s Blooper day, and as usual, I had more than enough to fill a clown car… and I am not just referring to the agents. Ba-dum-bump. Some of these were simply classic! Read ‘em and weep:
What’s Your Beef? “Make this home your cattle” (I wouldn’t know whether to tan it, milk it or eat it.)
“Do not force ope” (Said Andy to Barney Fife regarding Ope’s plans to become a famous director instead of the future Sheriff of Mayberry.)
“Tee house for kids” (With my luck, there is a sand trap nearby.)
“Do not park on lawn” … (34 comments)
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humor: "Curved stares" - Hysterical MLS Missteps
- 05/09/13 04:46 PM
Hi, friends – as usual, there were a lot of gaffes and laughs in the MLS and real estate advertising outlets this past week. Thanks to Michael Jacobs of Pasadena for his hilarious contribution about a very special townhouse. Thanks also to Patrick Martin of Los Angeles for some great finds, including a house on Nimrod Lane (I’m serious, folks). Enjoy:
Cold and Colder “Submit proffof ffunds” (Did someone spill some ice down her knickers?)
“New single reticence” (I bet that alimony will loosen you up.)
“Great for irritating” (Let me guess – the first words your mother ever said to … (52 comments)
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humor: "Instant hog water" - Excess Pork in Your Listings? (MLS Bloopers)
- 03/01/13 04:30 AM
The Blooper Reel is back, my friends. This week’s offering of marketing typos from the MLS included everything from stewed hogs to bowel problems. Read ‘em and weep:
Did You Just Say That? “Close to square” (Lamented SpongeBob SquarePants when asked to explain his lone pant leg.)
“Instant hog water” (Said farmer Fred sheepishly when asked why little Susie’s 4-H pig was missing.)
“2 inches rock hard” (Bragged Mickey Mouse to Minnie during foreplay.)
“Park only in detonated area” (What blew up – your career?)
Maybe You Should Think Before Speaking “Hot and chick area with EZ freeway access” (For … (30 comments)
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humor: "Holidie with us" - 15 Blooper Deal-Killers
- 01/17/13 05:03 PM
For those of you just returning, welcome back to the 2013 Blooper Blog, friends. As expected, the year started out with a number of hysterical real estate marketing bloopers from the MLS and from real estate ads all over the U.S. Thanks to Patty DaSilva of Davie, FL for her great contributions. Please enjoy:
Ringing in the Nude…uh, I mean “New” “Nude and slick” (Caption under Anthony Weiner's Twitter photo.)
“Rein damage” (Explained Rudolph when asked about his ugly bald patches.)
“This home will see itself” (Ah…a house with insight!)
“Beautiful 4 Bd/2 Ba bed horse” (Who knew the Trojan horse had … (24 comments)
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humor: “Beautiful new pint” - Beer, Bloopers and Buffoons!
- 11/01/12 05:43 PM
How do I spell thee? Let me count the ways… Apparently there are ways to spell words that neither Elizabeth Barrett Browning, nor we, ever knew about until Siri and Auto-fill entered our busy lives. Here are some hilarious bloopers to make you smell. Uh, I mean smile:
You Say Email, I Say Anal “Email entire pkg with POF to eliminate waste” (I must admit that beats an enema.)
“Echo friendly graden” (Believe me, nothing you said is worth repeating.)
“Stained grass” (This brings back fond memories of a college Sigmi Chi party…)
“Just needs a spit shin” (The last time … (22 comments)
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humor: "Knight views" - MLS Bloopers - Is There A Chink in YOUR Armor?
- 09/27/12 06:48 PM
Riddle: Why did the chicken fall down in the middle of the road? (A.) Too many margaritas at the Corn Coop? (B.) He was auditioning for a part in The God-fodder? (C.) He was laughing so hard after reading the MLS that he passed a kidney stone?
If you guessed “C,” welcome back to this week’s blooper blog. For a good laugh, check out these eggs that were laid:
First Came the Egg “Do not go beyond dead end” (It seems your career already has.)
“Blonds to be installed” (Whispered Harry Reid to his cronies while lounging in the Senate … (47 comments)
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humor: "Porch swinger" - MLS Bloopers - The Slippery Slope to Disaster
- 09/21/12 08:43 AM
Jeez, Louise! Are agents typing their listing remarks while perched on bar stools at Hooters? My advice to each of you: you misunderstood the drunk on the bar stool next to you when he mistook you for a bright Rhodes Scholar. He actually said, “Wow, what a bright nose color!” After reading these MLS bloopers, your cheeks may be rose, too:
Dare I Inquire? “Do nut park in back” (Sign at L.A.P.D. headquarters.)
“A grate deal” (Are you selling homes or Parmesan?)
“Bestiful jew carpet” (Is there also a Fiddler on the Roof?)
“Charming porch swinger” (Send the sleazeball home … (38 comments)
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humor: "View from top of hell" - Wondering Why Buyers Are Avoiding Your Listings?
- 09/14/12 03:10 AM
Hi Friends – it’s blooper day, and I found some hilarious gaffes on the MLS this week. I think I finally figured out why we consistently see such errors – agents are letting their pets write their listing remarks. On the other hand, I suspect that my dog can spell better than some of these culprits, so I may be casting unfair aspersions. Thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for the Blooper of the Week (she hit the mother lode with that one).
Is There A Pulse? “2 beds uhg” (Me Tarzan, you dummy.)
“Big barths” (Yeah, that usually … (46 comments)
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humor: "Larges kale rooms" Are Your Listings Vegetating on the MLS?
- 09/06/12 05:26 PM
After reading the MLS this week, as well as some of the Blooper Blog submissions I get from all over the country, all I can say is, “Yeesh!” I’d like to believe that the perps’ brains were just fried from the summer heat, but I fear the problem may be larger than that. I think some brains should be reported missing. Thanks again to Jane Peters of L.A. for a great find. Check out these classic bloopers:
Sizzled and Fizzled "Larges kale rooms" (Finally - a "green" house you can eat!)
“Full service bldg w/ many aunties.” (And one moronic monkey's uncle.)
… (63 comments)
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humor: "Corral, good burn" - Goin' Up in Smoke on the MLS
- 08/23/12 06:11 PM
There’s been a lot of butane in the air this summer, friends, and it seems some people have sucked in a bit too much. As evidenced by these dizzy comments and MLS bloopers, hamburgers aren’t the only things that have been fried:
It’s Miller Time "Corral, good burn" (Proudly offered by Pyromaniac Realty - "We'll match anything out there.")
“Old gas hater” (Yeah, it’s worse after it ripens for three days.)
“Nearly perfecy” (Your judgment appears to be as reliable as the judgment of John Edwards.)
“Thill your buyers” (I'm surprised you “thill” have a “theller.”)
“This dog has potential” (Your delivery doctor’s remark … (35 comments)
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humor: "Sea hair" - Are You Drowning Your Listings With MLS Bloopers?
- 08/17/12 03:54 AM
Are your listing remarks off by a hair, friends? Hopefully you are not one of this week's blooper culprits, but you, too, may have spotted a lot of very funny mistakes in the MLS listing remarks, as I did. Is summer responsible for our laziness, or is it the afternoon keggers? You decide:
Really??? “Sushi screens for privacy” (How do you get the tuna to hold on?)
“Big turkey house” (Big turkey agent.)
“Traveling floors” (Apparently they took your IQ with them.)
“Surrounded by granary” (Talk about sowing your wild oats!)
“Work off the itches in the home gym” (Perhaps a strong ointment would be … (43 comments)
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humor: "State of the ark" - Shipwrecked by Your Own MLS Bloopers?
- 08/09/12 05:13 PM
It’s Blooper Day – welcome back, friends. Have you ever wondered what some of the wacky MLS descriptions mean? Well, when you see the nonsensical remarks some agents have typed into the MLS without spell checking, you might spit out your coffee - so be forewarned. As always, thanks to Jane Peters of Los Angeles for her quick eye… and even quicker wit.
Ya think? “Clean limes throughout” – (I love the smell of tequila shooters in the morning...)
“Don’t wait too must list” (Said Bubba to his reflection in the commode when he heard “Last call.”)
“Open hose with cheese and wine” (Sign in … (81 comments)
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humor: “Beautiful craftmanshit” - The Straight Poop About MLS Bloopers
- 05/24/12 04:06 AM
Something in America has died, my friends – spelling! But how much fun would we have if we couldn’t occasionally laugh at some of these ridiculous bloopers from the MLS and the local real estate ads? Some of these are worth donning a party hat:
Where the Bodies Lie… “Lvg newly planted” (RIP – Just like your listing.)
“Windows have plantations” (Let me guess…Keith Richards’ grow house?)
“Corn early” (Agricultural update provided by Chief Sitting Bull.)
“Beautiful craftmanshit” (…So it’s a pile of crap like your career?)
Decomposed and Deconstructed “Details from a bye gone era (Kiss your seller bye while … (34 comments)
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CORONA LOCKDOWN STRESS GROOMING: 
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