Sometimes, I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seat belt on.
I don't know how many problems I have because math is one of them.
I've taken up photography because it's the only hobby where you can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail.
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.
The only problem with dancing naked is that not everything stops when the music stops.
Every time I lose some weight I find it again in the refrigerator.
Don't worry about getting older, you still get to do stupid things only slower.
If it's our thoughts that count then I should probably be in jail.
Parenthood is the scariest hood you will ever go through.
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