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It's so easy to be "off-putting"

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Marte Cliff Copywriting

Today's email had a message from someone wanting me to go answer a questionnaire.

It's someone I haven't purchased from, but who knows - someday I might. I read their messages now and then when the subject line is interesting.

Normally I wouldn't feel one way or another about a request to answer a questionnaire, but today it annoyed me.

Why? Because of one dumb word. Well, maybe because of the whole phrase.

It said, in part: "We're getting ready to get on the phone with the top 10 self-improvement celebs of all time on YOUR behalf, and..." (underline of the phrase is mine)

Because of the wording and the YOUR, it gave me the impression that she was saying:"We're doing this for you, so you'd better answer these questions, you ungrateful wretch."

Silly, I know. But that's how it hit me.

Then I started wondering if I've ever written anything that sounded like that. I hope not, but I can't say for sure that I never have.

 

Comments(11)

Tom White
Franklin Homes Realty LLC (615) 495-0752 or www.FranklinHomesRealty.com - Franklin, TN
Franklin Homes Realty LLC, Franklin TN

Marte, when you are a "wordsmith" sort of person you often read between the lines. I would have been put off as well! That certainly could have been better phrased!

Mar 09, 2014 09:53 AM
Teral McDowell
Referral Patners LLC - Murphy, TX

Truly our choice of words can easily offend in this day and age even when you have carefully or so you thought chose them.

Mar 09, 2014 10:17 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

Marte- maybe I'm just in a good mood and perhaps I need to read the whole email, but it didn't negatively impact me as it did you.  That's not to say it could have been better written.... you are the one to whom I would turn for that. 

Mar 09, 2014 11:31 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Tom - I'm sure she didn't mean it the way I took it.

Teral - We do have to be careful.

Kathy - Thanks. I can think of some ways to word it differently. For instance: "Since we want to bring you the speakers and information you want, we'd value your opinion. Would you please take a minute to..."

Mar 09, 2014 11:42 AM
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Marte~ Isn't it funny how sometimes certain words or phrases can be offensive. We do have to be careful how we "conduct" ourselves in print. The reader may interpret it completely different from our original intentions!

Mar 09, 2014 12:15 PM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Donna - Exactly. I'd bet money that the lady didn't intend to offend.

Mar 09, 2014 12:35 PM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Marte, sometimes certain things push your buttons! Happens to all of us! Enjoy your day!

Mar 09, 2014 08:56 PM
Janice Ankrett
Burlington, ON
Staging Professional

The off putting thing for me is that you know darn well that the questionaire will benefit them first and then maybe you LOL.

Mar 10, 2014 01:34 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Wayne - Yes, and we all have slightly different buttons.

Janice - Absolutely. They want to know what I might buy!

Mar 10, 2014 02:34 AM
Francine Viola
Coldwell Banker Evergreen Olympic Realty, Olympia WA - Olympia, WA
REALTOR®, In Tune with your Real Estate Needs

I'm with you on on this one.  When someone is assuming that they are doing me a favor when in fact they are asking me for the favor, it is definitely off-putting!

Mar 10, 2014 03:33 AM
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Francine - Yes, or when they want me to believe they're doing me a favor when they're simply doing market research.

Mar 10, 2014 03:39 AM