Doggone Funny - Read 'em and Weep!

It's Blooper Blog Friday, so hang onto your hats, my friends. The MLS and the local real estate ads were ripe for the pluckin. Carla Muss-Jacobs of Portland  and Patrick Martin and Jane Peters of L.A. made some witty and wild contributions. You may choke on a few of these unwitting witticisms:

Need a Prescription?

"Hot colons" (Another dinner at Pepe's Mexican Fire Pit, eh?)

"Full service with many aunties" (Is "aunties" code for "hookers"?)

"Two units for smell - probate" (That explains the smell...)

"Beware - Barb wore fence" (Things could be worse - she could have worn the family dog.)

"Large presidents" (You'll need 'em - I may be cheap but I'm expensive.)

"Home needs rubbishing" (How do you plan to hoist it onto the dump truck?)

"More ssales, legs hassle" (Drunks and idiots should put their trousers on one leg at a time.)

Needs Decryption

"High bean ceilings in living room" (I take it pot sales are booming?) 

"Don't judge by appearance" (Well it's hard not to notice that tin foil hat on your head.)

"Big population expansion area" (The food aisles at Walmart?)

"Call for derail" (Amtrak - dependable as always...)

"Sudden living room" (Apparently your last LSD tab was the size of a napkin...)

"Opportunity to make a prophet" (Moses' favorite pick-up line.)

"Outdoors fire lit" (It seems that's not the only thing that has been lighting up...)

Beyond Description!

"Rear hard with deck for entertaining" (Sign taped on Kim Kardashian's back.)

"This will shit your fussiest buyers" (And yet another reason not to swallow...)