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"Come enjoy mature" - Hilarious MLS Bloopers That Never Grow Old

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

It's Friday, and the Blooper Scooper is back, friends.  The MLS and local real estate advertising provided a bumper crop of blunders this week, as submissions from all over the country rolled in. Thanks to Susan McCall of Portland, Patty Da Silva of Davie, Florida and L.A.’s home girl, Jane Peters, for adding to the fun. I know you all agree that it’s time we start proofreading, using spell-check, and avoiding Siri, but then how else could we legally have this much fun? Enjoy the laughs:

I Feel Your Pain

“Double pane windows have some sensation” (Do they say “ouch”?)

“Lovely home in the moods” (An obvious estrogen deficiency.)

“Drawnig for cruise” (The Scientologists must be trying to wrangle another bride for Tom.)

“Start youre own transitiions” (Maybe you should, too… out of real estate.)

“Great trrain for hiking” (Apparently another Amtrak has been de-railed.)

I Get Your Drift

“Do not park in snow drift” (Is this pearl of wisdom something you picked up after you regained consciousness outside Bubba's Bar?)

“A home for the gyerations” (The family that moves together grooves together.)

“Big pen spaces” (Croaked Kermit to Miss Piggy in his pleas to get her to cohabitate.)

“Park in pot” (Please burn a match if you’re in there too long.)

I Hear Ya, But…

“Needs new elec panel, close to hospital” (That will come in handy when the fire dies down.)

“5 bd – grate for the hole family” (At last, a home for my gophers.)

“Do not open French.” (Then I’ll have to sheath my bayonet and send Pierre back to the cheese factory.)

“Dog will just sit on the coach while showing house” (So the agent is lazy and ugly?)

“See now – Back on marget” (If Marget's mustache is any indication, her back needs shaving.)

I’m Done Here

“Come enjoy mature at its best” (Begged Hugh Hefner to his bride, in a romantic attempt to lure her away from her Barbie collection.)

“House beautifully saged” (Welcome to my neighborhood, rock-n-roll Laurel Canyon - peace out, dude.)

 

That’s it until next Friday, folks. Remember: Spell well and sell!

 

Please visit me at www.gwenbanta.com, or visit www.victorylodgeinfo.com to see my magnificent listing: "Reduced: $14,900,000 Log Cabin Estate" and "Whitley Heights Investment Properties - $3.3M" @ http://youtu.be/PW6lstI9Yug . Thank you!

Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you, Margaret. Please send me anything you find. I need more from the East Coast!

Mar 15, 2013 04:35 AM
Kevin J. May
Florida Supreme Realty - Hobe Sound, FL
Serving the Treasure & Paradise Coasts of Florida

Gwen, please tell us that the homes "in the moods" and "for the gyerations" are not neighbors?  TGIF 

Mar 15, 2013 04:36 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jeff Pearl, thank you for that pearl of wit and wisdom!

Mar 15, 2013 04:36 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thank you, Dorie - it's great to hear from you on this glorious Friday.

Mar 15, 2013 04:37 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jay, I wonder if the door bell on that home plays the Beach Boys', "Good Vibrations." Seems appropriate, doesn't it?

Mar 15, 2013 04:41 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Steven, gophers are devious in my experience. They probably started the fire in an effort to drive out the owner and take over the entire place. Squatters, all of them!

Mar 15, 2013 04:43 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Marti, every time I see your most welcome logo, I crave milk...

Mar 15, 2013 04:44 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Kathleen, maybe the sellers are dumber than the agents. I hear that ignorance is in fashion ;-)

Mar 15, 2013 04:45 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Dick, Hef needs more than Stoli these days. I'm sure he's trying to invent the first Botox cocktail.

Mar 15, 2013 04:48 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Kevin, if they are, they must be "going condo" by now!

Mar 15, 2013 04:54 AM
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Hello Gwen,

Another great, funny list...I guess we shouldn't laugh at these, it is a poke at those in our own industry! LOL

You have to appreciate the electrical warning - nice of them to include the nearby hospital information!

Mar 15, 2013 07:31 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lisa, we may as well laugh, because I am sure others are, too.  I imagine most sensible people understand human error and do not think we are all incompetent. At least I HOPE so!

Mar 15, 2013 07:54 AM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

I DID do an inspection on a house where the doorbell had a feature where you could choose your favorite song of about 20.  When we were there it played "The Yellow Rose of Texas."

No kidding!  I told the seller that if it played "Hail To The Redskins" I would buy the house!

Mar 15, 2013 08:28 PM
Lyn Sims
Schaumburg, IL
Real Estate Broker Retired

No difference from Hef in wax & Hef in real life. Who wants an old fart in his jammies chasing you all the time? Of course, most could run faster.

Mar 17, 2013 04:19 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jay, I would buy it if it played, ""Welcome to The Hotel California."

Mar 17, 2013 06:53 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Lyn, I wouldn't want him if he chased me around covered in hundred dollar bills. Of course, that would improve his appearance ;-)

Mar 17, 2013 06:55 AM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

I've always had that same basic philosophy about the French.  It's best not to open them.  Have you ever gotten a whiff of escargot after a day in a Frenchman.  Smells like . . . ..  Oh wait.  Have a great week, Gwen, our west coast wizard of wit. 

Mar 17, 2013 09:25 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Mike, I have not had the pleasure you described. My reasons for not opening the French are influenced by the fact that I would not look attractive hanging by my neck from the gallows. I have never considered the noose a flattering fashion accessory. And the guillotine is so messy, one can only imagine the dry cleaning bill...

Mar 17, 2013 11:39 AM
Steven Pahl
Keller Williams Tampa Properties - Tampa, FL
Real Estate Consultant Tampa, FL 813-319-6423

Do you need "proof" of the MLS listing bloopers or just a brief synopsis!  Love reading your updates, not sure if the Sangria makes them funnier or not!

Mar 18, 2013 01:19 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Steven, because this blog is mainly for entertainment, I just accept the submissions from readers as they come in. As to the sangria, that makes everything funnier!
Mar 18, 2013 03:59 PM