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"Built to Cod" - And Other Listing Remarks That Stink

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

Woman Holding Nose

What a week - the fun never stops when it comes to MLS bloopers! Thanks to the always funny Matt Stigliano  of Texas and Philadelphia's Fred Glick for their contributions. And thanks also to Anna Altic  for the strange real estate ad she spotted in Nashville. (I'm still trying to translate that one.) Check out these gaffs if you want to begin your New Year with a chuckle:

Not Even If You Ask Politely

"Please leave business car on counter" (I will if you leave your hot brother in my driveway.)

"Doors stuck, kept slut" ( Seen on Eliot Spitzer's  T-shirt.)

"You better hairy" (Said Robin Williams mother when she saw his back...)

"Entertainment room w/ large wet bra" (I'm not even going to ask...)

"Just what yo buyer long fo" (Thank you, Snoop Dogg.")

"New construction Won't last" (Finally - Truth in Advertising!)

Not Even If You Beg

"Drawing at Open for Burka Bag" (Honey, a burka is a bag - a body bag...and that's as attractive as a turd hat!)

"Large floral dining for family needs" (Don't the leaves get stuck in your teeth?)

"Be sure to chick locks" (How 'bout if I wrap ‘em in pink angora?)

"Vivid pant colors" (Hello, Jack Nicklaus, your trousers have been located.)

"Con Perms provided" (I bet the inmates at San Quentin just love Curly Hair Day.)

You Can't Even Give It Away!

"Priced to cell" (Apparently this is a mobile phone service for hookers.)

"No permits, but built to cod" (What is this - a house for Nemo?)

"Please remove shoes, wear boobies." (The West Hollywood  nancy boys are gonna  love this!)

"Big shet out back" (He hit a detour on his way to Washington.)

Bonus Round:

And here's another head-scratcher from Matt Stigliano:

"Dest Deal of the Year!!!...Beautiful Home with great curve appeal, large kitchen...walk-in paintry. Mesterbedroom downstairs...East commute" (I think they had Matt at "curve appeal.")

Thanks to Anna Altic for the ad she spotted:  "Open House" ...on vacant land...on Christmas Eve...two years from now. (Some people really had way too much fun in the sixties.)

HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS!

visit Gwen at www.SherlockofHomes.blogspot.com

Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Good point, Kathleen. I missed Woodstock the first time, so I'm packing my VW bus right now!

Dec 31, 2010 07:27 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Have fun, Bruce...and give my love to the Bulldogs!

Dec 31, 2010 07:28 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

The year wasn't complete without these.

Dec 31, 2010 07:35 AM
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Gwen, thanks for the chuckle, ok, the belly laugh, LOL. What are these people thinking? Oh, maybe... they aren't!

I wish you all the best for 2011, thank you for these wonderful posts of yours.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.  ~Joey Adams

Dec 31, 2010 08:44 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jane, the MLS never lets us down, does it? :-)  Happy New Year!

Dec 31, 2010 09:16 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

What a lovely wish, Andrea, thank you! And all the same to you for a joyous New Year!

Dec 31, 2010 09:18 AM
Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate

Gwen, you are cracking me up as always.

"Priced to cell" (Apparently this is a mobile phone service for hookers.)

Happy New Year!

Dec 31, 2010 09:34 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks, Missy. I bet you didn't know the MLS had a pimping division :-) HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Dec 31, 2010 10:29 AM
Sheldon Neal
Bergen County, NJ - RE/MAX Real Estate Limited - Maywood, NJ
That British Agent Bergen County NJ

... I always get comments when I wear my 'Vivid Pants' !!!

Happy New Year Gwen !

Cheeers !

Dec 31, 2010 01:27 PM
Paula Swayne
Dunnigan, Realtors, Sacramento (916) 425-9715 - Sacramento, CA
Realtor-Land Park, East Sac & Curtis Park -Dunniga

Hi Gwen!
I have to say that the wet bra and wearing boobies conjures up visions I would prefer not to have!

Jan 03, 2011 11:55 AM
Menlo Park Real Estate and Homes for Sale
Wende Schoof - Menlo Park, CA
WendeByTheBay.com - 650.504.0219 - SF Peninsula

Gwen, good to know the year ended with everyone keeping the bar high in the comment writing department.  I think the Open House on vacant land was probably a good example of why we shouldn't drink and write...

Jan 07, 2011 03:47 PM
Tni LeBlanc, Realtor®, J.D.
Mint Properties, Lic. #01871795 - Santa Maria, CA
Tenacious Tni (805) 878-9879

OK I got here from Cindy Jones' re-blog.  But really this is not fair.  This thing should have come with a warning on it.  You had me at Snoop Dog, but I almost had to call the paramedics on the Stigliano one.  Thank you!

Jan 09, 2011 02:32 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Tni, you're funny - YOU should be writing my blog! Welcome aboard the crazy train.

Jan 09, 2011 02:47 PM
Matt Stigliano
Kimberly Howell Properties (210) 646-HOME - San Antonio, TX

Gwen - Getting my name in your blog is right up there with bumping into Weird Al Yankovic eating at Toi on Sunset.  You make my day, even when you don't drop my name.

Jan 18, 2011 01:06 AM
Don Rogers
Keller Williams Realty Chesterfield - O'Fallon, MO
Realtor, Broker, CDPE, GRI, OnullFallon MO & St Charles County MO homes

HOLY Mackrel this is advertising taken to a whole new level.  Maybe we should hit the spel ck buton @ lest onec.

Jan 18, 2011 01:29 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

wow... some of these are just so bad they give me the Blues, Brother.

Jan 18, 2011 01:58 AM
Damon Gettier
Damon Gettier & Associates, REALTORS- Roanoke Va Short Sale Expert - Roanoke, VA
Broker/Owner ABRM, GRI, CDPE

I followed over from Matt's blog...too funny...and we wonder why we have such bad reputations?  You would think they would at least spell check.

Jan 18, 2011 06:26 AM
Eric Michael
Remerica Integrity, Realtors®, Northville, MI - Livonia, MI
Metro Detroit Real Estate Professional 734.564.1519

I just saw that a house has an "in-grown" pool. That's gotta be painful. PS, I got here by way of Stigliano.

Jan 18, 2011 12:32 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Eric, that's a classic! May I quote it and reference you in my next blooper blog (actually 4 weeks from now, as I have 3 in the oven)? Thanks for stopping by!

Jan 18, 2011 04:25 PM
Lori Cain
Own Tulsa - Tulsa, OK
Midtown Tulsa Real Estate Top Producer

I followed over from Matt's re-blog. FUNNY list - I could definitely add to this. Thanks for laughs - spit coffee on screen kinda funny!

Jan 27, 2011 01:00 AM