billy jays: Glop Yer Glop!
- 11/02/16 08:49 PM
Hi folks! It's been a while!
Billy Jays! here! And am I excited to be with you!
If you are like me, and I know you are, you don't like walking out of your house only to see a stream of water coming from the corner of a gutter.
How embarrassing!
You can only imagine the neighbors' faces as they walk by the house with the dog, looking over, and seeing that little, tinkling, cascade of embarrassment.
Can I be of help?
Of course I can!
I'm Billy Jays!
Well, I could not be prouder to introduce my newest product!
I call it Glop Yer Glop!
Glop Yer Glop! you … (6 comments)
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billy jays: Cram Yer Cave!
- 12/10/15 06:23 PM
Hi folks! It's the holiday season and you are just thinking all the perfect somethings to get for your loved ones!
How about something to get for yourself!
Well, you have to think no more!
Billy Jays here! I'm so happy to be back!
Do you want to make a statement?
Do you want your neighbors to gawk with covet-nous?
Do you want to glow with pride?
How about that glowing pride every time you open your garage door?
Yes, may I present my new, and most wonderful, Cram Yer Cave!
Just look at that!
Cram Yer Cave! will change your life!
You will look like the most organized, and most self-contained, … (14 comments)
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billy jays: Tape Yer Tube!
- 12/06/15 06:00 PM
Hi Folks! Billy Jays here, just in time for that special Christmas or any holiday celebration gift!
Don't know what to get that wonderful someone this year?
Your search for that perfect gift has ended here!
And are you in for a surprise!
Let me show you what Billy Jays has for you today!
Allow me to introduce Tape Yer Tube!
I haven't been as excited about a new product in a long time!
Tape Yer Tube! will change your life!
Seeing is believing! Look at how wonderful this great product is for stopping that pesky under-the-sink leak!
And under ANY sink! Imagine! Don't be shy!
I know, it looks just … (22 comments)
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billy jays: Spray Yer Spot!
- 10/24/15 08:07 PM
Hi folks! Your buddy Billy Jays here!
It's fall and time to get that roof ready for winter!
Yes, it's time for some real roof repair!
Have you gone into the attic to pick up those skis for this winter's trip to Snow Powder Land and look up only to see that white tube thing, what's it called again?
Yeah, that white tube thing has water dripping around it?
You don't want to think about rain when you really want to be thinking about snow!
Am I right! Of course I'm right! I'm Billy Jays!
I am so proud to bring this market to product!
Um, well, like, you … (17 comments)
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billy jays: Splatter And Rot
- 08/02/15 06:52 PM
You've seen it - splatter and rot.
Water falls and splatters. If it splatters onto wood surfaces, over time, the wood will rot.
Rot requires three things - air, food and water.
That is why wood is painted outdoors. To prevent the intrusion of water.
Paint fails. Or it is too thin. Or it is not put onto every surface (wood has six sides). Old or poor paint admits water.
Sometimes many areas of wood trim on the outside of a house can develop rot because of flowing or splattering water. If the caulking leaves gaps, or the paint cracks or peels, and the water does … (32 comments)
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billy jays: Put Yer Pole!
- 12/02/14 07:03 PM
Friends, it's been a while! Visiting the mainland from my Caribbean Island home I was contacted by a friend and had an idea.
Hi folks! Billy Jays here!
I think it's time we regular folk took the code into our own hands!
Why? It's getting ridiculous!
Good gosh! There's a code to protect me from my neighbor putting a hose in a bucket of poison! Even the advocates of the code say that even when the code is obeyed the requirement might not protect us anyway, so don't leave a hose sitting in a bucket of poison!
Well, duh!
This got … (23 comments)
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billy jays: Can Yer Can!
- 01/11/14 06:00 PM
Hi friends! It's Billy Jays here! It's been a while!
Boy, do I have an idea for you!
Just the other day I was reading a post by Charlie Buell. It concerned on-demand tankless water heaters!
Charlie came to the same conclusion as everyone else who has done posts on these "green" contraptions, including this guy. It's the same old, same old. Green means 'mo money!
Go ahead, knock Charlie if you want. Well, I know Charlie Buell. Charlie Buell is a friend of mine. And you are no Charlie Buell!
But I digress!
That post gave me a great idea!
… (23 comments)
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billy jays: Deviate Yer Downspout!
- 12/18/13 07:14 PM
Hi folks! It's been a while!
Your friend Billy Jays here!
You know, a mind expanded by a new idea can never return to its original dimension!
I find that is so true when I introduce a new product to the market. People everywhere have their minds expanded! My new products always create new dimensions and new paradigms!
And today is no different! I am so excited to bring this product to the market, I can hardly control myself!
Sure, you drive through neighborhoods and look at all the houses as you pass by. And you notice how boringly similar they … (42 comments)
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billy jays: A New Product Filling A Market Need Very Quickly And Very Well
- 08/10/13 09:32 PM
Anytime I see a new product filling a market need very quickly and very well, it just brings a tear to my eye.
My client couple and I had been going through a house, kind of from thing to thing, when it came time to go into the attic.
As I did, the realtor, one Miss Kennedy, who, by the way, is walking around like she never had knee replacement surgery (!), and looks great, waited comfortably for the attic information.
There were a number of areas leaking into the attic.
And looking under a couple of those spots what did … (24 comments)
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billy jays: Recover Yer Rain!
- 08/08/13 08:48 PM
Friends and loyal followers! Hi!!
It's me, Billy Jays again!
How good it is to be with you so soon after the introduction of one of my most popular products - Dot Yer Drips!
I have to say, Dot Yer Drips! has been flying out of our warehouses!
But what have I been hearing? Your calls, letters and emails have gotten me to think.
You've been saying, "Billy Jays, my roof is so bad Dot Yer Drips! has not been enough. My roof leaks so badly it's almost like it's raining up there! It's a regular ActiveRain up there! And I … (44 comments)
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billy jays: Dot Yer Drips!
- 08/06/13 09:39 PM
I folks! It's your old friend Billy Jays again!
This new product has me so excited I simply could not wait to tell you about it!
Every time I go to the State Fair or amusement park I am fascinated by the fun ice cream they call Dippin' Dots. I love 'em!
What a fun way to eat ice cream!
Well, have you ever been upstairs and heard a steady drip, drip, dripping during a rain storm? And you know it's your roof!
What to do?
Of course Billy has a solution and I call the new product Dot Yer Drips!
… (44 comments)
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billy jays: Close Yer Cabinet!
- 07/31/13 06:55 PM
Hi folks!
It's your old friend Billy Jays here!
And I could not be more excited!
How often do you look under your sink, kitchen or bathroom, to see that gaping maw there?
You know, the hole large enough for the local lions and tigers to get through?
Well, I know it happens to me all the time! And one day I was thinking about what to do with it!
This is my first product that allows you to choose your own look when you look under that cabinet!!
I call the first one Close Yer Cabinet!
With Close Yer Cabinet! … (55 comments)
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billy jays: Forever Yer Foam!
- 04/20/13 09:35 PM
Hi folks! Billy Jays here!
Do you worry about how well put together your house is?
Are you tired of seeing screws and nails and steel straps and hangers?
It's time for some peace of mind!
It's time for Forever Yer Foam!
With Forever Yer Foam! you can simply glue things in place!
You remember Billy's wonderful product Foam Yer Flash!, dontcha?
Well, Forever Yer Foam! takes Foam Yer Flash! to the next level!
This will make your house stronger than it has ever been!
And my customers are using Forever Yer Foam! for every forever application they can find!
Want … (22 comments)
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billy jays: Affix Yer Fixtures!
- 11/20/12 07:05 PM
Are you tired of having designers tell you to spend big bucks on this or that "special" way to hang light fixtures from the ceiling?
And then to struggle with drills and holes and hangers and, well ...
struggle no more!
Put your tools away! Put your hangers away! Make life easy!
Hi folks! Billy Jays here!
How would you like to invite your friends and neighbors to into your basement or family room and see a couple of stylish and wonderful lights hanging over your bar, or pool table or favorite, comfy reading chair?
Well I know I would! … (16 comments)
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billy jays: Another Satisfied Customer
- 05/16/12 08:28 PM
Hi Folks! Billy Jays here!
I am just like you. I live in a neighborhood. I drive through neighborhoods. I look at the houses in neighborhoods.
Just yesterday as I was driving through my neighborhood I noticed another satisfied customer of one of my most popular products, Get Yer Gutter Garden!
Remember, with Get Yer Gutter Garden! you can plant and fill as much or as little of your gutter as you want! I have always suggested that you should be creative and artistic!
How best to impress your friends and neighbors than with a little splash and flash!
Well, as … (27 comments)
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billy jays: Chimchimeny Yer Chimney!
- 04/28/12 09:13 PM
Hi friends! Billy Jays here!
I have something so special today, I think by the end of this commercial I might just be singing!
Tell me, how often do you pull into that driveway or walk around the side of the house and look at a boring, empty, everyday chimney!?
Well, can I guess?
Everyday!
Now that is one BOOOOORING chimney! Look at it!
Be bored no more!
Can I, your old buddy Billy Jays, introduce my newest, and certainly most decorative, product!
I am so proud of this can I introduce it with a song?
Chimchimeney, chimchimeney, a plant for … (21 comments)
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billy jays: Flatten Yer Fluid!
- 04/05/12 08:29 PM
Friends!
Billy Jays here!
I am so happy to be with you today to introduce our newest product, truly the salvation of slow drains everywhere!
How many times have you had the gang in the basement to watch an important sports event, and while you're all standing around the wet bar you turn on the sink and the fluid you are sending down the drain, whatever that fluid might be, just won't flow?
I know it's happened to me before!
And it sure can be embarrassing!
Those darn traps under that sink sure can get in the way of good fluid … (16 comments)
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billy jays: Stuff Yer Spot!
- 03/27/12 07:40 PM
How do you feel, folks, when you go outside and the soil, or your patio, has pulled something off the wall of your house, and left a big hole?
I know it makes me feel very self conscious! What will my friends and neighbors think?
And how would you feel if that self consciousness could go away in minutes!?
Hi folks! Billy Jays here!
All you need is a can, what did I say, I case of my newest product Stuff Yer Spot!
Yes, Stuff Yer Spot! can spare your wall of holes, your friends and neighbors of wonderment and YOU … (18 comments)
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billy jays: Billy Jays - A Testimonial
- 02/11/12 10:50 PM
Hi folks! Billy Jays here!
This will bring a tear to your eye! It does to mine!
I have brought you many products in the past.
As you know, our wonderful wares are sold nationwide, even internationally.
And why not! We have wonderful wares!
And when we hear back about the success of our products, well, can it get any better than that! We want to share those success stories with you, our loyal followers and customers!
Recently we received information about how hearty and lush one of our most popular products is - Get Yer Gutter Garden!
Yes, Get Yer … (22 comments)
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billy jays: Dress Yer Hose!
- 01/10/12 09:48 PM
Hi friends!
Billy Jays here!
So often we all enter or exit our homes, looking to one side or the other, to see a plain Jane hose hooked up to the bib.
And I know that so often I have thought, "Billy, that is one plain Jane hose hooked up to that bib."
Well, I know you have too!
And there can be nothing but embarrassment when family and friends show up!
Those days of embarrassment are gone!
Introducing, Dress Yer Hose!
Yes, with Dress Yer Hose! you can make your hose look like no other hose in the neighborhood!
… (15 comments)
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Hi folks! It's been a while! 
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