humor: Never to old to learn. (Humor)
- 05/05/12 06:36 AM
I had heard this a long time ago, but something I just read jogged this to the front of my brain.
A Professor of Sex and the Human Body was giving an informal talk about Sex and the issues with the human body and some of the emotional happenings.
"Let's start off with something fun...You have 15 minutes to talk and make a list of how many different positions that you can have intercourse in."
After the allotted time the professor asked..."How many did we come up with?"
"15" yelled one
"22" "33"
"OK OK, I have a better idea. Let's … (8 comments)
|
humor: Why some men have a Dog and no Wife.
- 04/18/12 10:35 AM
I know I will catch some flack with this, but hey, I know the ladies will dish it right back. They just need a reason sometimes.
So, Why do some men have a Dog and no Wife???
1) The later you are the more excited the Dog is to see you!
2) Dogs don't know if you call them by another Dog's name.
3)Dogs like itif you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4)A Dog's parents never visit.
5)Dog's agree that you need to raise your voice to get your point across.
6)Dog's find you amusing when you are … (20 comments)
|
humor: Going to Vegas...Humor!
- 04/13/12 06:05 AM
Talking with other married couples I find that most everyone has much of the same stuff to talk or complain about.
The Kids, the bills the pets...Never financial status....SEX...Yeah, the American preoccupation. At least for some of us!
The husband walks into the bedroom to find his wife packing...
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"I am going to Vegas! I just found out I can get $400 for what I give you for nothing!" she said.
The husband grabs a suitcase and starts to pack.
"What do you think you are doing?" The wife asks.
"I am going … (9 comments)
|
humor: I am in a great mood...Time for a chuckle!
- 04/09/12 02:58 AM
I have had a great morning. I have accomplished a lot of business and even an item on my 'Honey Do' list. So a quick smile for the day is in order.
The minister of a small Church was preaching a fire and brimstone sermon Easter Sermon. He was loud and forceful when he said..."Everyone in this congregation is going to Die!"
Everybody was somber, except for one older gentleman close to the front. Seeing this the Minister repeated his phrase a bit louder Bolder..."Everyone in this congregation is going to die!!"
But the old gentleman sat with a smile … (13 comments)
|
humor: If only...
- 04/01/12 12:06 PM
Modern science has done wonders. Cures for cancer, many childhood diseases are almost gone and we have vaccines for almost every illness.
Science has come up with many things to make our lives much easier and even safer.
So...why haven't one of these science greats figured out how to get mosquito's to suck fat.
If they did, Minnesota would be the biggest tourist destination in America.
If only...
… (12 comments)
|
humor: It is Funny Friday time.
- 03/23/12 05:57 AM
I have not had many new funnies lately, but I was sent this by my brother. It makes you think about your mortality...
3 friends from a local church were talking when the pastor came up to them and asked...
"When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning over you, what would you like them to say about you?"
The guy said, "I would like them to say I was a loving husband and family man, who was strong in his faith and a leader in this church."
The next said..."I hope they would say that I … (14 comments)
|
humor: I don't know about your world, but in mine Ice Floats!
- 03/16/12 06:18 AM
I was at my local watering hole today. I needed to get my bet in on when the ice out would be. We can bet on a day and a 4 hour period.
A few of us were talking and finally a lady overhearing us asked what we were talking about the lake ice melting.
"Ice on the lakes doesn't melt." She said. (In total seriousness)
"Really?" said one of the patrons..."Then what happens to it?"
She said with a straight face.."It sinks to the bottom of the lake."
This brought on a whoop of laughter. "You are kidding..." Said … (5 comments)
|
humor: Alright...It's Party Time!!!
- 03/16/12 12:08 AM
I must be getting old.
I have been hearing about the parties and parades for the last week or so and I thought St. Pat's day was over and here it is only tomorrow.
Parades are bigger and better being it is the weekend. Minnesota will have high 70 weather.
Me, I will be hiding at home away from the crowds.
Don't get me wrong, it is a fun filled day for many and I used to be right in the thick of things, but it is now time for me to make room for the up and coming.
Make it … (9 comments)
|
humor: It appears I will be missing the blogging scene for a while!
- 03/09/12 11:11 PM
I have always tried to do what is right. I have tried to reach out to those who need a bit of help when I am able, so when I was walking down the street a bit behind for my appointment and I saw one of those unfortunate homeless vagabonds I felt the urge to help.
Wearing what I can only describe as rags and carrying all the worldly possessions in 2 plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's desperate condition.
Some people stood and stared and others turned away quickly as if the site would somehow … (8 comments)
|
humor: My Honey 'DO' list is all done...so why is my wife so unhappy!?
- 03/05/12 11:05 PM
I do not get it!
I worked this weekend and did everything on my wife's list.
I was not looking for any kind of reward, (Although that is never bad) But a cheerful smile would have been nice.
I turned down some real important stuff for this weekend just to get the work done.
My buddy got a NEW Bass Boat. He wanted help deciding on power poles or power anchors.
My neighbor was having trouble with is bottler for his Home Made Beer. (That one really hurt) He got one of the other neighbors to help and he doesn't … (48 comments)
|
humor: Some fun for Wednesday.
- 02/22/12 03:01 AM
All work and no play makes me really DULL. So here are some fun facts to lighten your day.
COOL Facts about the Human Body.
The average dream lasts 2-3 seconds.
Scientist say that the more you dream the higher your I.Q.
A full bladder is about the size of a softball.
Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with a lot of hair.
When you look ate someone you love your pupils dilate.
When you look at someone you hate your pupils dilate.
So the person that you … (6 comments)
|
humor: This has Absolutely NOTHING to do with Valentines's Day! (Humor)
- 02/14/12 03:29 AM
I have some down time today so I am doing some housework. I am cleaning my desk! (Sorry ladies)
I have been throwing out a lot of old papers, magazines and a bunch of stuff just making a mess. I even grabbed a pile of Birthday Cards I got this year. I mean, what do you do with the cards after a few days. I know people who save all of them in boxes. WHY?
Oh well, it is their space they are cluttering up.
I was reading some of them and got one that I know many will find … (10 comments)
|
humor: What not to say to your Valentine!
- 02/12/12 10:51 AM
I am getting a head start on this Hallmark/Hershey's Holiday that was made strictly to punish us men and make huge profits for the makers.
If you want to stay married or want to keep your girl friend, I would suggest you stay away from a few of these when she is around!
It doesn't matter how many times a man changes jobs, is still has the same Boss!
They call our language the Mother tongue, because the father seldom gets a chance to speak.
One woman's hobby is another woman's hubby.
I recently read that Love is entirely chemistry, that … (11 comments)
|
humor: OWLS
- 02/04/12 09:44 AM
Nope, not the bird...OWLS stands for...
Older Wiser Laughing Souls
I am proud to be a member of the OWLS! Here is some of the things we believe in..
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg or a goose egg, depends a lot on the chick he marries.
Trouble in a marriage many times starts when a man is so busy earning his salt that he forgets his sugar.
To many couples marry for better, or for worse but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one. The problems start when the try to … (14 comments)
|
humor: I think we need a laugh today!
- 02/03/12 06:29 AM
It has been a long week with little that has gone well or as planned. So, I am starting the weekend with a smile...
Mary walked up to the Minister after church service on Sunday...
"Pastor, I have some bad news..."
Seeing she was in tears, "What is so terrible Mary?" he asked.
Sobbing she replied..."Fred died last night."
"That's terrible, was he ill, did he have any last requests?"
"Yes he did, Pastor...he said...Please Mary, put down that gun!"
Have a great weekend everyone.
For the sun will come out tomorrow...At least in my neck of the woods!
… (4 comments)
|
humor: Minnesota Computer terms.
- 01/20/12 02:32 AM
For years when the computer came out the terms used made absolutely NO sense.
Living on the farm I Northern Minnesota...the terms I was hearing gave me all kinds of visuals that did not make sense.
My Brother just sent me a list of what we felt the meanings of these terms were when we first heard them.
Some of my rural friends will have to agree that this will bring back a few visuals from years past.
I hope this helps people understand my lack of computer savvy.
… (11 comments)
|
humor: I have not needled my lady friends lately...so here goes!
- 01/18/12 08:29 AM
WE have a great group of people here. Most of who can laugh at themselves which I feel is an important trait in not taking ones self to seriously.
So, I will take aim at my lady friends and I know that there will be some re-buttle posts in the very near future.
COME ON LADIES...make me laugh at myself!
… (17 comments)
|
humor: Ole understands the importance of Solid Ice! (Humor)
- 01/13/12 03:23 AM
I have blogged about the poor ice conditions on Minnesota lakes and streams. My friend Ole understands the importance and I believe that his story will drive it home...
Ole and Lena live on a lake in Nodern Minnesota. It vas early dis vinter and da lake vas froze over.
Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across dda frozen lake to da yeneral store to get him some smokes. She asked him for some money, but Ole told her, Nah, yust put it on our tab.
So Lena walked across the frozen lake, got the smokes and walked back home … (8 comments)
|
humor: A Grandparents Answering Machine.
- 01/07/12 04:42 AM
No doubt that I love our kids and Grandkids. But, somedays I love my quiet time also. So this is how I changed the phone message....
Hello!! At present we are not home. Listen to the following options and leave a message.
If you are one of our Children, please press 1-4 as to the age structure. 1 for oldest. That way we know which one is calling.
If you need us to stay with the children...press 2
If you want to borrow the car ...press 3
If you want us to wash the clothes and iron them...press 4
If you … (20 comments)
|
humor: The media is scaring the public again!
- 01/06/12 07:15 AM
I was having coffee with some of the local know-it-alls when The Irainian issue came up..."Oil is going up and will hit $225 in just a couple of weeks."
Once again, people who listen with one ear while they are talking are talking just a bit of what the media is saying, although one of the broadcasts I heard it would not be hard to make that assumption.
Media outlets try and report ALL of the daily news and because of it we hear just a few sound bites of what is really happening.
I am thinking the Media should have … (8 comments)
|
I had heard this a long time ago, but something I just read jogged this to the front of my brain.
;)
;)
;)
